[FIC] Carry Your Shame 12/25

Rating: NC-17

Beta: Laura aka- gottriplets <3

Warnings: First time sex, blow jobs, exhibitionism, sexting, gay sex all around- the usual :) This chapter contains homophobic language and violence

Summary: Kurt doesn’t think the Blaine Anderson will ever notice him, so he’s not in the least bit prepared for what happens when he does. (My take on the whole Popular!Blaine, nerd!Kurt trope)

This was written for this GKM prompt, so go check it out and possibly leave me some love <3

Part 1//Part 2//Part 3//(Blaine interlude)//Part 4//Part 5//Part 6//Part 7//Part 8//Part 9//(Blaine Interlude 2)//Chapter 10//Chapter 11

Carry Your Shame Playlist (organized by chapter)

*Side note- anyone looking to track this, it will always be tagged as “Fic: Carry Your Shame”

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Kurt and Blaine spent the last few days of winter break glued to each other’s side in blissful oblivion; buried under covers whenever there was an empty house and cuddled up on the same end of the couch whenever there wasn’t. They marathoned America’s Next Top Model, watched Harry Potter Weekend on ABC Family, went on coffee dates at Angeli’s, and even played footsie under the table at Hummel-Hudson family dinners. Kurt had listened to several albums from start to finish that Blaine had been anxious to introduce him to, while Blaine made his way through all of Kurt’s back issues of Vogue. 

In fact, Blaine seemed so content with just being near Kurt that he managed to be in the same room with Finn with little more than disgusted glares and under-the-breath comments shared between the two. To Kurt, it was the best Christmas present he ever could have gotten. This also meant he was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and the fantasy to come crashing down around them. 

He was fully expecting it all to come to a head on New Year’s Eve. Blaine had been getting texts from his friends all break about parties and ragers that he just had to attend. Kurt had been prepared for Blaine to ditch him on New Year’s Eve with an excuse about needing to spend some time with his friends after ignoring them all break. He had wanted Blaine to feed them some lie about family obligations so the two of them could watch the ball drop in their future hometown on TV together. He hadn’t been expecting Blaine to invite him to a party. 

That was the moment Kurt realized Blaine was serious about not hiding any longer. 

Kurt spent two hours that afternoon trying on every outfit he owned at least twice. He was determined to make sure he looked absolutely perfect for Blaine. He didn’t want to give Blaine’s friends any more reason to pick on him. He was under no false illusions. He knew that Blaine had been hiding him for so long because his friend’s didn’t exactly think Kurt was good enough for Blaine. He had to prove them wrong. 

By the time eight o’clock hit and Blaine was ringing his doorbell to pick him up, Kurt dressed in his tightest black pants and an edgy, bondage inspired red top that was fashionable yet not outrageously gay. Kurt didn’t want to come across as too gay. That had been Finn’s only contribution to the family conversation over lunch about Kurt being responsible and safe tonight. Finn had told him to tone it down. Kurt had wanted to smack him, but at the end of the day he followed his advice. After all, Finn had a lot more experience interacting with high school kids than Kurt did. 

“You look amazing,” Blaine said as he helped Kurt into his coat and tried to ignore the way Burt was staring him down. 

“Thanks,” Kurt blushed, taking in Blaine’s tight black polo and bow tie and wondering if Finn really did know what he was talking about when he’d told him he’d need to tone it down. Even back to the first day they’d met, Blaine hadn’t exactly dressed like one of the guys

“I trust you both to make responsible decisions,” Burt spoke up as Kurt buttoned up his coat and wrapped a scarf around his neck. 

“Dad,” Kurt hissed under his breath, praying his father didn’t embarrass him on his first official date. 

“I’ll take good care of your son, Mr. H.,” Blaine said respectfully as always. 

“Take good care of each other,” he said with a smile that said he wasn’t nearly as against this whole thing as he pretended to be. “Carole and I will be up for awhile, so if you run into trouble don’t hesitate to call.” 

“Have a good night,” Kurt said, pushing Blaine out the door before his dad could try and hand them condoms or something equally as mortifying. Burt had already asked him if he’d read over the pamphlets carefully before Blaine had arrived and Kurt really didn’t want to see if his dad’s lack of filter would extend to Blaine. 

“Your dad seems oddly calm about all of this,” Blaine said as they hurried to his car to escape the below freezing temperature. “Where did you tell him we were going?” 

“A party across town?” he responded, not sure what Blaine was getting at. Had there been a change of plans?

“Wow, you told the truth,” Blaine said sounding impressed. “I told my parents I was going to spend the night babysitting Puck’s little sister with him.” 

“And Cooper didn’t rat you out?” he asked. 

“He was on the first plane back to LA this morning, thank God. Something about being unable to spend New Year’s in the Midwest.” 

“I don’t know, it doesn’t seem all that bad,” Kurt said, reaching across the console to grab onto Blaine’s hand. He couldn’t help but smile as Blaine laced their fingers together. 

He was surprised when Blaine turned up the music as Rihanna’s newest dance song came on. Usually, when it was the two of them, Blaine would play some indie singer for him. He knew that his iPod was a wide mix of music, even including some random Eminem songs, but they rarely listened to such Top 40 together unless Kurt managed to force some Gaga on him. 

He gave him a strange look as Blaine started to bob his head along and sing about being the “only girl in the world.” 

“What?” Blaine laughed, glancing back and forth between the road and Kurt’s judgmental face. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.” 

It was true. Blaine was practically radiating a happiness that he’d never seen before. There had been hints of it, when they were tucked away somewhere alone together Kurt had started to see it before. This was different though. Kurt figured it had to do with Blaine finally giving up the act and deciding not to hide anymore. Kurt said a silent prayer that tonight went okay. He would hate to see that light go away again. 

“We’re going to a party,” he explained. “You’ve gotta warmup with some dance music on the way.” 

“Obviously,” Kurt said with a mocking tone. He had to admit, Blaine’s joy was infectious. Even Kurt found himself smiling brighter than he had in years. 

“Play DJ,” Blaine passed his iPhone over to him as some Ke$ha came over the speakers and Kurt laughed at the excited spark in Blaine’s eyes. 

“I thought you’d be more nervous about this?” he asked as he began to scroll through a playlist Blaine had titled pre-party dancing. He had a playlist for almost every possible situation, each one containing well over a hundred songs. Kurt couldn’t help but feel warm all over when he saw Blaine’s newest playlist entitled With Kurt <3

“I thought I would be, too,” he shrugged. “I talked to Puck about it earlier today and told him I was going to bring you. He sounded cool with it and promised to have our backs if anything happened, but I guess Azimio is having his own party tonight. We won’t have to worry about any of the football players.” 

“Right,” Kurt nodded along. 

He questioned how cool Puck really was with the entire situation considering he had never been that friendly to Kurt but he let it go. He was content just knowing that Blaine was happy.

“Plus there will be a lot of college boys there,” he sang in a dreamy tone. “It looks like I’ll finally get to prove to you how sexy you are when I flaunt you in front of their faces.” 

Kurt couldn’t help but blush at that, even though he didn’t think he’d ever believe Blaine’s words. It was enough for him to be at a point where he knew that Blaine believed he was sexy. 

“Are you just using me to make your exes jealous?” he teased, surprising himself with how little jealousy he feels when he thinks of all the other men Blaine’s been with before.

“Well, if they end up eating their words for acting like I’d never be more than some fun drunken story then let them.” 

Blaine said these things off-handedly all the time like it was no big deal. It made Kurt sad to think that even though Blaine was popular, he dealt with the same feelings of being unwanted as Kurt did. He hoped that was all these comments were—regular teenage insecurity, because the thought of Blaine with some college guy just trying to get him drunk so they could fool around… it made him nauseous. 

As they pulled onto Mike’s block, there were cars covering the entire street and Blaine cursed about how they would have to park so far away when it was so cold out. Kurt felt himself starting to grow nervous. It wasn’t that he hadn’t expected there to be other people there, he knew what Blaine had meant when he’d said party. He just hadn’t really had the time to think about all the other people there when he was so worried about what Blaine would be thinking and if he would change his mind about bringing Kurt. 

Now though, looking at all the cars and noticing even more people pulling into the neighborhood and circling around, he felt his stomach start to bubble. He’d never been to a party before. Shit, he hardly even interacted with other people besides Blaine and Lauren unless his very tentative and recent bonding with New Directions counted. He didn’t know how to act normal around these kids who were so cool even college kids come around for their parties. 

Kurt rubbed his hands in front of the heater just to give himself something to do that wasn’t pulling at his carefully styled hair. What kind of things did kids do at parties? Did they play Spin the Bottle and Seven Minutes in Heaven still or had they outgrown that? If they hadn’t, would Kurt have to kiss somebody that wasn’t Blaine? Oh God… Would there be drugs there? What if people were having sex in bedrooms upstairs and Blaine would be expecting that from him? His only knowledge of college parties came from teen dramas and eighties rom-coms. As much as Blaine was his own personal Jake Ryan (okay maybe he watched too much Sixteen Candles over the years), he doubted anything from those shows or movies was accurate. 

“You ready?” Blaine asked with a hint of concern. 

He must be able to see how nervous you are, Kurt thought. Just talk to him about it.

“What if nobody talks to me?” Kurt mumbled, embarrassed for feeling like a five year old going to his first sleepover. 

“They will,” Blaine assured him. “And even if they don’t, you’ll be with me.” 

“I don’t want you to have to babysit me,” he said, instantly feeling worse. He should have just told Blaine to go to the party alone. He was too socially inexperienced for something like this. Blaine’s friends were going to take one look at him and wonder what on Earth somebody like Blaine was doing with somebody like him. 

All of his confidence from earlier was shattered with the reality of facing these privileged, perfect teenagers that had no idea what it was like to struggle with insecurities and fear every day of high school. He couldn’t relate to any of them and they sure as hell weren’t going to understand him. This was a horrible idea. Blaine had been right to hide him away. 

“I won’t be babysitting you,” Blaine said with a roll of his eyes. “You’re my date. Now let’s get inside where it’s warm. You won’t feel as nervous once you have a drink.” 

You matter, he could hear his father’s words again in the back of his head. 

You’re my perfect thing, he could hear Blaine’s words from before as well. They reminded him to be strong. 

Blaine started to get out of the car, but Kurt knew he had to finish this conversation or he would never survive inside. 

“Is that what you did?” Kurt asked when Blaine was already halfway out the door. 

“What?” he asked, climbing back inside and closing the door again when some people walking past started yelling Blaine’s name in greeting. 

“At your first party,” Kurt clarified. “Did you just drink until you weren’t scared anymore?” 

Blaine sat back in his seat and sighed deeply, clearly settling in for a more serious discussion than he had expected. 

“I guess?” he answered, not really sounding sure of himself. “I’m pretty sure it’s still what I do. I don’t think that initial nervousness ever goes away. There’s nothing to be nervous about. Most of the people in there are my friends. They are good people even if they have their shortcomings and aren’t always the most tactful.” 

Kurt just nodded, not knowing if that made him feel better or worse that Blaine still felt this nervous before a party. That meant that this feeling like he was going to throw up in social situations would never go away.

“At your first party, did you just drink until you weren’t scared anymore?” he asked. 

“Shit, Kurt. That’s still what I do,” Blaine said with an awkward laugh. “Listen, if you’re uncomfortable, we can just go home right now. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.” 

“No, no,” Kurt quickly silenced that thought. Blaine was finally taking a step towards being brave. He was going public with their relationship. The least Kurt could do was have some courage himself. He’d been the one to practically pressure Blaine into this. 

There is an awkward pause. 

“Okay,” Blaine said with an understanding nod of his head. He didn’t move to go inside this time. He suddenly seemed just as nervous as Kurt was to go inside. 

Well that won’t do, Kurt thought. He didn’t mean to make Blaine second guess himself. He’d just been distracted by his own insecurities for a minute. He took a deep breath and pulled himself together, carefully putting his armor back in place. The straighter he held himself, the less affected he let himself seem; the more he’d be left alone. 

“Well, I guess we don’t have to drink anymore,” he said with a brave smile. “We have each other now.” 

“Right,” Blaine smiled back and leaned in to kiss Kurt. 

Just as Kurt’s hand was making its way to the back of his neck to pull Blaine in closer, they were interrupted by a group of loud bangs on the car which caused both of them to shoot apart. Kurt was embarrassed to see Puck, Sam and Mike pounding on the car with ridiculous grins like they’d just been gifted with the best Christmas present of their lives. 

“What ya doin’ in there, Anderslut?” 

“Get a room!” 

“Looks like Baby Blainers midnight kiss turned into a nine o’clock BJ!” 

Kurt looked at Blaine with a tight, forced smile. He wasn’t amused by this show in the slightest and Blaine could see that. He knew that these were Blaine’s friends and his brief encounters with Finn and his friends whenever they came over told him that this was just how guys talked to each other, but it still made his skin crawl with memories of similar things being said to him with real malice behind it. 

“Just give them a chance,” Blaine reminded. “They mean well.” 

He opened the door and greeted his friends with high fives and slaps on the back. Kurt crawled out of the car and stood on the other side, watching the various bromance exchanges awkwardly. He had always known Blaine acted differently with him than he did with others, but it was strange to see it in action. He was even stranger to witness it and not feel like it was entirely an act on Blaine’s part.

“J. Lindeberg’s Eddie Vintage cords,” an unfamiliar voice said from behind Kurt. He quickly turned around to see an older boy, most likely college age, looking him up and down with a warm smile. He was taller than Kurt and bigger. He was clearly muscular, that could be seen even through his brown peacoat. “Those are some good pants.” 

“You’ve got a good eye,” Kurt said, his cheeks heating up. He wasn’t used to anyone paying attention to his wardrobe with the exception of Blaine’s constant compliments on the fit of pants he chose to wear. He certainly didn’t expect anybody to be able to tell him what designer he was currently wearing. 

“Absolutely not,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt away from the kind stranger quickly. Kurt could feel how tense Blaine was and he wondered if this was jealousy. Kurt hadn’t even been doing anything, not really. He was just talking to a nice stranger who happened to appreciate fashion as much as Kurt did. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Puck said to the man, standing in front of Blaine and Kurt, completely blocking Kurt’s view of the man. Kurt leaned over so he could still watch everything unfold, not understanding anything. Who was this guy and why was everyone suddenly so worked up? 

He didn’t know what was going on, but he could see Puck was livid and Blaine had tensed up beside him. The other boys were standing beside them, arms crossed to look as menacing as possible. Kurt felt like he was in trouble for something, but he didn’t understand what he’d done.

“It’s a free country,” the stranger said with a bored tone. Gone was the sweet voice he’d been using with Kurt. Now he sounded completely unimpressed, almost pompous. 

“It’s my house and I know I didn’t invite you,” Mike spoke up. 

“Oh my God,” the man said with a roll of his eyes. “This high school drama shit is why we never worked out B.” 

Kurt glanced back and forth frantically between Blaine’s annoyed glare and the man’s cocky, condescending smirk. 

“Goodbye Riley,” Blaine said, pulling on Kurt again as they made their way into the house. Unfortunately, Riley seemed to be trailing after them. 

Blaine clearly just wanted to get away from the situation and Kurt could see why. Riley. This was the man who had dumped Blaine a few weeks ago at Ohio State. Kurt suddenly felt all of the sympathy he’d been holding for the man go out the window. He remembered how broken and lonely Blaine had sounded that night when he’d drunkenly called Kurt to come and get him. 

The sudden urge to punch the man in his smug face came strong and Kurt could see why the other boys had been so eager to step between them. They feel protective over Blaine, Kurt thought happily. At least Blaine had been right when he’d said his friends cared for him. 

“I’m not leaving,” Riley called after the two of them with an unaffected laugh that made Kurt’s skin crawl. He could only imagine how Blaine must be feeling. 

“There isn’t a whole lot of options for getting laid in Lima, even over the holidays with everyone home,” Riley continued to call after them while Blaine headed straight for the bar and grabbed the first bottle he saw. “Unfortunately, thanks to Blaine’s talent for deep throating anything that pulls down its pants and your swim team’s reputation for swinging any way the wind blows, every gay in town is inside.” 

Kurt was horrified at the way Riley was referring to Blaine like he was some kind of whore. Even if Blaine had been with a lot of other people—Kurt wouldn’t know, he’s never really asked him for a number—that didn’t give this man the right to make him feel bad about it. Blaine was a decent person. A great person. 

“Okay, if you’re so interested in finding somebody to take home, why don’t you go do that,” Kurt said, his gaze switching back and forth from watching Blaine down three shots in a row and watching Riley look both Blaine and himself up and down like they were something to be devoured. 

Riley leaned in and whispered to him like he was in on some big secret, “Let me know once you’ve both downed enough alcohol to stop pretending you aren’t interested.” 

“We’ll never be interested,” he said, counting backwards from ten so that he didn’t punch this guy in the balls from the way he was breathing into Kurt’s neck. Who the hell did this bastard think he was and how had Blaine ever gotten involved with him? 

“That’s what he always says when he’s still too tense and worked up about what his precious fuck buddy Puckerman will think, he’ll come around.” With that, Riley had disappeared into the crowd with a carefree laugh, like they’d discussed nothing more than the evening news. 

“Here,” Blaine shoved a bottle of vodka into Kurt’s hands. He could tell that Blaine was worked up by the way his hands were shaking. Kurt held the bottle out, unsure what Blaine expected him to do with it. He knew Blaine had been taking shots of it, but he hadn’t given Kurt any glasses and he sure as hell wasn’t going to be drinking it straight out of the bottle. He had class. 

When Kurt didn’t do anything, Blaine seemed to realize his mistake and picked up some smaller paper cups and poured Kurt a shot. It burned going down and made him cough strongly. The last time he’d taken shots with Blaine, he’d already been drunk. He didn’t know how people did this regularly, it was disgusting. 

“Told you the college boys would be all over you,” Blaine said, his tone bitter. Kurt’s brow creased in confusion, unsure what he should be saying or doing to make this better. As it was, this was about to ruin their evening before it even got started. 

“And imagine how stupid he’ll feel when I spend the entire night staring at you,” Kurt said, hoping it would calm him down enough. “Ignore him.” 

“I’m not a whore,” Blaine said, crossing his arms. He looked slightly childish and Kurt kept waiting for him to stop his foot indignantly. He held back a laugh; Blaine wouldn’t forgive him if he laughed right now.  

“Okay,” Kurt said giving him a look so he’d know he never thought he was. “He’s clearly a douchebag from hell. Let’s just forget about it, alright?” 

His arms fell to his sides, but he continued to glare after Riley for a few more minutes. He was clearly caught in his own thoughts. 

“Blaine?” Kurt asked, tentatively trying to get his attention. He’d never quite seen him like this and he wondered if this was how Blaine would always be when they were out in public together. He certainly hoped not. After a minute or two of painfully awkward silence, Blaine finally turned to him with a smile. 

“Let’s dance.” 

The next couple of hours went by thankfully without incident. Blaine’s good mood had seemed to return the second he pulled Kurt out onto the makeshift dance floor in Mike’s living room. Music always had a way of putting Blaine back together and Kurt figured that was another way that they were the same. It was incredibly easy to forget about everything when the music was playing loud enough to be felt in their veins. It might not have been the poetic masterpieces of Iron & Wine or Bon Iver, but Top 40 had its own magical powers. 

He was impressed by how little the people at the party seemed to care that two boys were dancing close together. In fact, instead of people being disgusted like Kurt had expected, Blaine was the life of the party. Everyone seemed to want to be close to him. Not that it was incredibly surprising. Kurt knew how easy it was to swoon after just one smile. His laughter was infectious as he danced on top of a coffee table. Kurt had never witnessed the rest of the swim team’s crush on Blaine first hand, but if watching them dance close together before falling into hysterics every few minutes was any indication of their bond, it wasn’t hard to picture them becoming bi-curious for Blaine. 

Kurt would have been jealous of it all if Blaine didn’t make it a point to pull Kurt into his arms every other song to dance with him in a way that should be illegal, making it obvious to everyone at the party who Blaine was going to be going home with. 

Currently, Kurt was taking a break from all the excitement by standing off to the side with a fresh drink. He was getting far more joy out of people watching than he was by dancing. The amount of stupid things his classmates did the second they had some alcohol in their systems was astounding. Santana, the bitchy girl from Glee that liked to put Rachel in her place, was crying in the corner while she screamed at Sam. There was a group of sophomore’s doing body shots in the kitchen. A couple of boys were running around shirtless outside despite the freezing weather and the fact that it had started to snow. 

He watched as Tina stumbled through the crowd and came to stand next to him with a wide smile. He had quickly noticed that she was one of those giggly drunks, which was much preferable than anything else. He liked her. She was incredibly welcoming and cool. She didn’t seem terribly overdramatic like some of the other New Directions, even if she had broken down crying in the middle of a solo last week. He could see them becoming good friends. 

“What’s that quote? The saddest people sometimes smile the brightest?” Tina said into his ear loudly to be heard over the screams of countless teenagers belting out lyrics to Black Eyed Peas. 

Kurt gave her a double take, trying to figure out what she was saying this for. She just nodded towards where Blaine and Mike were doing an interpretive dance set to “The Time.” He was somewhat surprised. Not that Blaine could keep up with the rap parts so well, but that he was singing along, completely oblivious to the amount of people enthralled by his drunken, yet talented performance. Blaine had told him that he never sang in public. 

Not that he can remember at least, Kurt thought wryly to himself. 

“You’re gonna be good for him,” Tina finished her thought before shrugging and going off in search of refill for her drink. 

Even if her speech was a bit slurred and she could barely walk straight, he couldn’t help but think she was the most insightful person in the room. It made him want to get to know Mike that much more. He was one of Blaine’s closest friends and he obviously was good enough to have been dating somebody as cool as Tina for close five months now. 

“You’re hiding from me,” Blaine walked up to him, pouting after finishing his song with Mike. 

“I just needed some air,” he said, waving his face to emphasize how hot it was in the room. He had to fight back the urge to nibble on Blaine’s lower lip that just looked so kissable when he gave him that puppy dog look. 

“Are you having fun?” Blaine asked, his speech was slightly slurred, but for the most part he was holding himself impressively well for how much he’d drank already. 

“I’m enjoying watching you,” he admitted. 

Blaine smiled at him fondly, letting his hands wonder up to his shirt. He silently played with the black strap of his shirt while Kurt sipped on his drink and watched him with a secret smile. Blaine pulled on it, forcing him to step closer to him. 

“Is this a bondage shirt?” he leaned in close to speak into his ear so they wouldn’t be forced to shout at each other. 

He sounded slightly shocked, but more noticeably, he was turned on. Kurt could feel how turned on he was and wondered how either of them were going to be able to get out of the room without everyone seeing their growing hard-ons for each other. 

“It’s fashion,” Kurt said defensively, but all night he’d secretly hoped Blaine would realize what exactly he’d been wearing. Even though it wasn’t a sex shirt—he’d painfully explained as much to his father awkwardly the day the shirt came in the mail—it had came from a designer collection that had gone with a BDSM inspired collection for the season. 

“It’s mean,” he whined, grinding himself against Kurt, causing them both to groan uncontrollably. Luckily, the music was loud and Kurt didn’t think anybody had noticed since the group of kids closest to them were focused on a game of King’s Cup. 

“I’m not the one that’s going to make us both come in front of all of McKinley. Stop moving your hips like that,” Kurt begged, biting his lip to keep from crying out at the way Blaine was dancing into him. 

“Sorry,” Blaine said with a heavy blush, doing his best to still his hips. “I just love dancing with you.” 

“Maybe we should make our way outside,” he suggested, grabbing onto his hips and moving them backwards and in the general direction of an exit. “The cold air would do us good.” 

“I’d do you good,” Blaine whispered into his ear before nibbling on it. 

“Blaine!” Kurt pulled away from him, scandalized. They were not about to start making out in the middle of the party. Sure, there were countless other couples going to town on every surface, but they were all straight. Kurt didn’t think everyone would be that cool with it if two boys started making out. 

“Right sorry,” he apologized and held his hands up surrender. 

They both tried to cover themselves up as they hurried towards the front door as inconspicuously as possible. They managed to make it safely without that many strange looks though Kurt had been positive that had been Lauren giving him a judgmental look.  He hadn’t had time to stop and do a double take, but it had certainly looked like her who had been glued to Puck’s mouth and only she would be able to handle making out and judging somebody else at the same time. He’d have to ask her about it when they got back to school.

“Air!” Blaine cried happily as they stepped outside and he went running out into the front yard, arms out to his sides and head thrown back, breathing in the fresh air. 

Kurt had to admit it was too stuffy and hot inside; the cool wind at their cheeks felt good. He laughed as Blaine spun around in a circle, talking about how much he loved snow, only to trip over his own feet and drunkenly fall on his ass. 

“Guess it’s gonna be awhile before either of us can drive,” he commented, shaking his head as Blaine tried to coax him out into the snow with him. Kurt was perfectly content under the awning where he would stay nice and dry. 

Blaine stuck out his bottom lip and pouted, until Kurt couldn’t resist anymore and just had to join him out in the snow if only so he could lean over and kiss Blaine. 

“Mike offered us one of the spare bedrooms for the night,” Blaine explained, sighing in content before falling onto his back and attempting to make a snow angel. 

There wasn’t enough snow on the ground for it to work. Kurt cringed as he thought of how dirty his clothes were going to be. Then he realized both of their clothes were already ruined at this point. They smelled like sweat, cigarettes, spilled beer and what Kurt assumed was weed. 

He was surprised when Blaine wrapped a hand around the back of his knee and pulled hard enough for Kurt to tumble to the cold ground on top of Blaine. 

“That’s better,” he giggled as he wrapped his arms around Kurt’s neck. 

“It’s freezing out here,” Kurt whispered, their lips were centimeters from each other and the way he was straddling Blaine was anything but innocent. 

He could easily see them getting lost in each other this way, out here in the front yard where anybody could see them together. He didn’t have time to really think about the consequences of what they were doing so publicly. Not with the alcohol still clouding his judgment and Blaine mouthing at his Adam’s apple and making the most wanton noises. 

“Good thing I’m well practiced at warming you up,” Blaine said, spreading his legs wide enough for Kurt to comfortably fit between them. 

They rested their foreheads against one another and watched their eyes grow darker as they ground against each other. Kurt enjoyed seeing the way Blaine’s face would scrunch up whenever a jolt of pleasure would run through him. Kurt loved knowing that Blaine fell apart just as easily as he did at the simplest of touches. 

“I thought I asked Santa to kill all the homos,” a deep voice yelled at them from across the street. 

It was like they’d been hit in the face with a hundred slushies. The mood was instantly gone and they both scrambled to their feet to watch the flock of red McKinley letterman jackets make their way across the street. Blaine grabbed onto Kurt’s wrist and pulled him behind him, all the while his eyes never leaving the crowd of laughing boys making their way closer and closer. 

“Go inside,” Blaine whispered, sounding more sober than he had all night. 

Kurt could feel the tension in the air and knew this wasn’t just a homophobic comment thrown their way in passing. This was something much more serious. Blaine was tense and his hands were clenched in fists, ready for a fight. 

“No,” Kurt said. He wasn’t about to leave Blaine alone out here where he’d be outnumbered and nobody would be able to help him. It was too dark outside and too loud inside for anyone to notice them scream. 

“What’s the matter Fag-derson?” One of the boys called out. Jackson, Kurt had third period with him. He had never been friendly towards Kurt, but he’d also never looked at him twice before. Well, he was glaring at him now. “Is the Golden Boy actually scared? Daddy’s money can’t protect you out here, can he?” 

There were five of them in total. Three of them Kurt recognized from various classes or times when they’d thought it was hilarious to throw a slushie at him or slam him into a locker. The way they were all smirking at them made his skin crawl.

“Go inside and get Puck and the guys,” Blaine said quietly under his breath so the others wouldn’t hear. Kurt shook his head, feeling like he was glued to his spot. He couldn’t leave. He wouldn’t leave. 

“What’s the matter?” Blaine asked, his voice dark and angry. 

Gone was the sweet, polite boy Kurt had always known. This was something different. This was worse than the way Blaine acted around Finn. The fight between Blaine and Finn had been wrapped up in anger and hurt, but never actual fear. This wasn’t Blaine trying to poke at something to see it squirm; this was Blaine trying to bite of somebody’s head before it had a chance to bite first. 

“Bitter that all your girlfriend’s showed up here instead of at Azimio’s because they’d rather grind up on me than have to be around you trolls?” Blaine continued. “Or did you finally decide to admit what we’ve all known for over a year. The only reason you like to beat me up is because you can’t keep your hands off me.” 

Kurt blanched. Blaine was provoking them. With each word, he could see the boys growing more and more angry. What was Blaine doing? Sure, Kurt fought with words before. He’d called these baboons Lima Losers and used the biggest most insulting words to make them feel dumb. That was at school though. That was where the most they could do was push him into a locker. This was different. They were obviously drunk and there were no witnesses. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Jackson sneered. 

“Obviously,” Blaine fired back immediately, never missing a beat. “Because being gay means I just want to fuck any dick I see, even if it’s as small as yours.” 

Kurt didn’t know if it was the alcohol or if the movies got it right and these kind of things really did happen in slow motion, but it seemed like it took minutes for the first fist to connect with Blaine’s jaw. Blaine’s head flew backwards as Kurt let out an indignant squeak. Obviously, making noise was the worst idea. The other jocks seemed to finally notice him standing there and closed in on him. Kurt had just enough time to see Blaine recover and tackle Jackson to the ground before he was pushed to his knees and all he could see was red nylon and wool. 

The boys called him nasty things like cock sucker, queen, flamer, and fag as they spit on him and asked him if he enjoyed being on his knees for them.Kurt tuned them out and strained to hear what was going on with Blaine. He could make out the faint sounds of panting and groaning as fists connected with skin and he could only hope that it wasn’t Blaine that was getting hit. Kurt could feel his eyes begin to water and he dug his nails into his palms roughly, willing himself not to cry. He wouldn’t let them see him cry. 

He heard Blaine let out a painful groan and he tried to push through the wall of boys to go help, but he was slammed back down to the ground painfully. His back connected with a sharp rock and he let out a loud cry. 

“You fucking touch him and I will fuck you up,” Blaine yelled. 

Kurt’s horrified. He’s never seen Blaine like this and he’s certainly never heard him swear quite so much. It’s like some cartoonish superhero that’s transformed from a sweet dapper kid into the Incredible Hulk. Only, nothing about this is cartoonish or funny. Blaine is furious. Kurt’s trying to see Blaine past all the jeans and sneakers but it’s hard when they all keep moving to block his view. From the bits he does catch, he can see Blaine shaking with unconfined rage. He seems to be landing more punches than Jackson is, but Kurt’s still worried. 

Kurt’s grabbed by the hair and forced back up to his knees as he’s kicked in the back, letting out a strangled cry of pain. 

“You gonna keep wailing on me when your boyfriend needs you?” Jackson said with a laugh, but Kurt can hear his voice is more nasally. He’s likely got a broken nose. 

The crowd of jocks surrounding him part and Kurt can finally see Blaine. He’s bleeding from the lip, his right eye has already started to swell, and he’s got blood on his hands, but for the most part he doesn’t look that hurt. Not compared to Jackson at least. 

“Come on dude,” Leo, one of the other jocks called out to Jackson. “This party is lame, let’s go back to Azimio’s. It’s gonna be midnight soon and I’m sure there will be plenty of wasted girls just begging for somebody to kiss them.” 

Jackson was still fuming, but he looked calculating. He seemed to recognize that he couldn’t take Blaine in a fight, but he kept looking at Kurt like he’d figured out some great mystery. Blaine’d caught on, too. He stepped between Jackson and Kurt like a lion guarding its cub. Kurt felt so helpless. He didn’t need Blaine to defend him. He could take care of himself just like he’d taken care of himself for the last seventeen years. It was just that there were so many of them and while Kurt knew he could fight off one of them, he didn’t know how he’d possibly fight off five. 

“So he is your boyfriend then?” Jackson smirked, moving in really close to Blaine. 

“He’s just some guy that I’m fucking. If you want to get to me, leave him out of it,” Blaine said. 

Kurt felt his heart grow cold at the words. He knew that Blaine was just trying to protect them. He’d seen how serious these boys were about hurting them. If Blaine didn’t look so absolutely terrifying when he was angry, he was certain the both of them would be getting the shit beat out of them. Blaine had managed to contain the situation, even if he had resorted to violence and that was something Kurt never condoned. 

Still, it hurt. It was mortifying to hear Blaine speak about him like he was nothing more than a good lay. 

“Just wait ‘til he’s not around princess,” Jackson said with a wink towards Kurt. It made his stomach drop in a way that only Karofsky had ever managed to do. 

Kurt yelped as Blaine pulled back and punched Jackson square in the jaw, sending him tumbling to the ground. 

“We put up with you when you were single because you were more trouble than you were worth,” Jackson said as one of the other guys helped him to his feet. They all started walking back towards the sidewalk, but Kurt could tell this wasn’t over. This round might be ending in a victory, but it was only the first round. 

“It’s over now,” he continued as the other jocks nodded their agreement. “I’m taking you down. You don’t deserve the faggy, golden tiara you wear at school and since I know we can’t touch you with the way Coach Roz and the whole swim team have you wrapped in bubble wrap, I’m starting with him. Nobody will give two shits if we fuck up some Glee Club loser and you know it. You have no idea what you just started, Anderson.” 

With that, the boys walked away, leaving them alone. Leaving Kurt alone, because Blaine wouldn’t even look at him. 

It’s over now. Jackson’s words repeated over and over in his head. He wondered if the jock knew just how accurate he’d been. 

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