[FIC] Carry Your Shame 8/18
Beta: Laura aka- gottriplets <3
Warnings: First time sex, blow jobs, exhibitionism, sexting, gay sex all around- the usual :) This chapter contains homophobic language and violence
Summary: Kurt doesn’t think the Blaine Anderson will ever notice him, so he’s not in the least bit prepared for what happens when he does. (My take on the whole Popular!Blaine, nerd!Kurt trope)
This was written for this GKM prompt, so go check it out and possibly leave me some love <3
*Side note- anyone looking to track this, it will always be tagged as “Fic: Carry Your Shame”
Kurt sat on the curb of the parking lot looking at his watch. It was five after five and Blaine still wasn’t there. The rest of New Directions had already gone home a half an hour ago, leaving him waiting with Finn—who refused to leave his side until Blaine showed up. Kurt wasn’t sure where this sudden fit of protectiveness had come from, but he wished it would pass. The only thing Finn had done in the past half hour is tell Kurt that Blaine wasn’t coming; that Kurt shouldn’t hold his breath because the only person Blaine Anderson cared about was Blaine Anderson.
“I don’t understand why you like this guy, he’s a tool,” Finn said pacing back and forth. Kurt couldn’t look at him anymore, he was driving Kurt crazy.
“He’s my friend, we’ve got a lot in common,” Kurt explained for the tenth time that day. “He’s a good guy.”
“He’s an ass,” Finn mumbled, but pulled out his phone and started texting Rachel, whom he’d blown off in favor of babysitting him. Kurt was thankful for Finn’s distraction, he’d had about enough.
He couldn’t understand what could possibly have happened to make the two of them hate each other so much. Neither Finn nor Blaine could be in the same room together without mumbling hateful things under their breath and it drove him crazy. He wanted Blaine around all the time. It was rather hard to do that when Blaine felt completely unwelcome at his house. As for Finn, well, he was family now and that meant something to Kurt. Even if he annoyed him, Finn was still his brother and he loved him. He wasn’t going to put up with Blaine trying to bad mouth him every chance he got. Kurt couldn’t stand the two of them constantly belittling each other.
He would be happy once he finally heard the story, which Blaine had promised to tell him today over coffee. Once Kurt knew what the problem was, he could set about fixing it. Soon he’d have his boyfriend over all of the time and there would be no lingering tension between Finn and Blaine.
“He’s forty minutes late,” Finn commented snidely.
“Yes, thank you,” Kurt snapped, looking down at his phone and wondering what was keeping Blaine this long. Kurt had received a text from him during Glee practice that he’d be a few minutes late but he hadn’t heard anything since then. Kurt was frustrated as well, but he couldn’t let Finn see that because Finn was just waiting for an excuse to wail on Blaine some more.
Kurt was sure Blaine would have a good reason for being late; he wasn’t the kind of guy to just blow Kurt off. Especially not now that they were hooking up. This wasn’t how people treated their almost boyfriends, right?
“Well, well, well,” Finn said as Blaine’s car pulled into the parking lot. “Look what the cat dragged in.”
“Well he’s here, just like I said he’d be. You can go now,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes as Finn didn’t move.
“No, I want to hear why he’s late,” Finn said. “I want to know why he thinks he can treat my baby brother like dirt and get away with it.”
“I’m older than you,” Kurt mumbled as Finn crossed his arms and stared Blaine’s car down. This was ridiculous.
“For the love of God,” Kurt said throwing his hands up in frustration. He stood up to try and push Finn towards his car, but he wouldn’t budge. Kurt let out a long-suffering sigh. He was perfectly capable of handling his own affairs. He didn’t need Finn, of all people, to try and defend his honor.
“You’re late,” Finn called out to Blaine as he stepped out of his car. “Glee Club got out at 4:30.”
“What’s he doing here?” Blaine sneered.
Kurt eyed the two of them, both of whom seemed to be ignoring his presence completely.
“Making sure my brother had a ride home in case you ran off with some other guy,” Finn said. “That’s your MO isn’t it? Find as many straight guys as you can and try to blow them until they switch teams?”
“Finn!” Kurt yelled, horrified. Where the hell had that come from? He knew Finn never was one for tact, but still. This was completely uncalled for.
“Don’t be mad at me just because your prudish girlfriend won’t put out,” Blaine shot back.
Kurt was shocked, he’d never heard Blaine be so mean before. He was usually so sweet and nice, that was why everybody loved him. Now his voice was full of venom and his eyes were on fire, fists shaking with rage. Kurt didn’t recognize this Blaine.
“Kurt’s not some dumb jock you can get drunk and hook up with, he’s my brother,” Finn said. “I’m not going to let you hurt him.”
“By all means, continue to protect him from all the musicals we watch and dangerous coffee we drink,” Blaine said sarcastically. “Don’t worry about the slushies your teammates are throwing at him, those are completely safe.”
Amazing, it was like Kurt wasn’t even there. He crossed his arms and glared at the two of them, wondering how long it would take for them to notice him. How long would they wait before giving him a say in this? The longer it took, the angrier Kurt became.
“Nobody ever died from a slushie,” Finn said smugly.
Was Finn admitting it was him then? That he did have a hand in the slushie Kurt had thrown at him that morning?
“No, just almost blinded,” Blaine snapped back.
“Stop it,” Kurt yelled, having enough of this. He didn’t understand anything that they were saying and he prayed that none of it was true. He didn’t want to think that Finn was behind his ruined shirt and ego this morning. He really didn’t want to picture Blaine as some asshole that would say anything to hurt somebody else.
“So you admit that your friends are the ones bullying Kurt?” Blaine accused, not hearing anything Kurt had said. “Just pick on the gay kid, don’t worry if it’s your own fucking brother.”
“I didn’t tell them to do that!” Finn yelled.
“Because you’ve never bullied anyone a day in your life,” Blaine hissed.
Kurt resolved himself to being ignored. He took a seat on the curb and stared at his knees, willing this fight to be over soon so he could just leave.
“Like you’re suddenly St. Anderson,” Finn fired back. “I lost my best friend because of you.”
“You lost your best friend because of you!” Blaine yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. “You are a selfish, inconsiderate asshole that never takes notice of anyone but yourself. If you had taken your head out of your ass for one minute all of last year you would have noticed how sorry Puck was. You would have seen how much he wanted to keep Beth, how much he needed somebody in his life to love him! Instead you belittled him for making a mistake you’ve made plenty of times and tried to out him to the entire school when he wasn’t even gay!”
“You had your tongue down his throat! It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen!” Finn said. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t turn him gay.”
Kurt felt the sting of Finn’s words as if he’d been talking about Kurt himself and not Puck and Blaine. He remembered how much it had hurt to hear Finn call him that that fateful night that his father had been forced to kick Finn out of the house. They’d made up since then. Kurt had found it in himself to move past it. Yet here they were again. Kurt couldn’t believe that his brother would really have the nerve to talk about how disgusting two men kissing was in front of him.
“It’s not something you can catch!” Blaine yelled back, Kurt could hear the aggravation in his voice. He couldn’t say he blamed him for it.
“Well, he was straight before he met you!”
“He’s still straight, you ignorant moron!” Blaine yelled. “One fucking night doesn’t determine your sexuality for the rest of your life. He was hurting and latched onto the only person that would listen.”
“And there you conveniently were. He was hurting and you exploited that.” Finn said. “You used him and toyed with his emotions. All he wanted was somebody to care about him and you used that to get him into bed.”
Kurt knew that he didn’t know the entire story. He reminded himself repeatedly that he didn’t know the entire story. However, as wrong as Finn was for being so homophobic, Kurt was starting to get a bad taste in his mouth for Blaine, too. Was there any truth to what Finn was saying? Did Blaine really use his best friend’s weakness to get him into bed? If he did, what did that say about what he was doing with Kurt? Did Kurt really mean anything to Blaine, or was he just the newest project in a long line of men?
“All he wanted was for you to care about him,” Blaine responded, sounding tired.
“You shouldn’t have gotten involved. If you never came along we would be fine!” Finn continued to argue.
“None of this is my fault!” Blaine groaned.
“Then how come anytime I try to make a new friend they end up on your swim team?” he fired back.
“Because they don’t want to live under your shadow,” Blaine accused. “They want to be a part of a team that cares about one another, not one that throws each other under the bus.”
“They’re all living under your shadow. You’re the Junior Olympian.”
“There is no spotlight,” Blaine said with a heavy roll of his eyes. “We don’t compete against each other. We all won Nationals with our relay last year. Mike’s got gold in three different events. Puck in two. Sam will probably win Nationals this year. None of us are in the same events. I can’t help it if my parents paid for me to go the trials. If any of the other guys had gone, they would have gotten in, too.”
“You could have paid for them to go, you just wanted to be the star,” Finn said bitterly.
“You think I’m so rich that my dad would spend thousands of dollars sending kids that aren’t even his to the Jr. Olympics?” Blaine scoffed.
“I’ve seen your car,” Finn smirked.
“Stop it! Both of you!” Kurt yelled. Couldn’t they just stop fighting so he could go home? He had a headache and he was beyond frustrated with the pair of them. At the moment, he wanted to be far away from either of them. He was tempted to call his dad to come and pick him up so that he wouldn’t have to deal with them.
“He was my friend first,” Finn yelled.
“My actions didn’t get us here, yours did,” Blaine said, stomping away towards his car, not even bothering to look in Kurt’s direction.
“Blaine!” Kurt called after him when he got into his car without stopping. It wasn’t that Kurt was dying to spend time with a bitter Blaine, but he couldn’t deny it hurt to see him walk away from Kurt.
“What?” he snapped, opening the door enough to fix Kurt with an angry, expectant look.
“What the hell was that?” Kurt asked, running over towards him.
“I can’t help it if your brother is an asshole.”
“Yeah, well he’s still my brother,” Kurt said, surprised. He’d never expected Blaine to act like this, especially not towards him.
“So you’re taking his side then,” Blaine said with a nod, like he’d expected this all along.
“There are no sides,” Kurt said. “You’re my friend and he’s my brother. Whatever problem you two have doesn’t involve me.”
“Yeah, well maybe Puck was right, I can’t do this,” Blaine said, closing his door and putting the car into drive.
“Blaine!” Kurt yelled as he drove off.
“Let him go,” Finn called. “You’re better off without him.”
Kurt rounded on him, eyes filled with angry tears. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew that both Finn and Blaine were being completely unreasonable.
“You did this, whatever this is,” Kurt said his voice low and scathing. “So you’re going to explain everything, in perfect detail so I can understand what happened that made a completely respectful and calm boy turn into that.”
“He’s the one that left you, not me,” Finn argued like a petulant child.
“Finn!” Kurt yelled.
“Fine,” he said, sitting down on the curb. “You remember last year, when I thought I’d gotten Quinn pregnant, right?”
Kurt sat with Finn for over an hour listening to him tell the story, both of them too wrapped up in the tale to notice the cold chill in the air. Finn told him all about Quinn telling him that she was pregnant only to find out a few months later that Puck was the real father. He talked about how betrayed he’d felt that everyone in Glee club seemed to know the truth except for him. How his closest friend, the one person he thought he could always count on, had gone behind his back and slept with his girlfriend.
Then Finn had talked about Blaine. How he’d transferred in last year and immediately joined the swim team with Mike. How he’d managed to rise to popularity because he won a few gold medals and suddenly everyone was bowing at his feet like he was something special. How unfair it was that just because Blaine came from money and was good at swimming he got everything in the world. He talked about how Blaine disliked Finn immediately and how quickly he’d swooped in and taken advantage of Finn’s weakness. How he’d managed to become the most popular kid in school and had turned a lot of the school against Finn. How Puck had suddenly started following Blaine around like a lost puppy.
Finn went on to explain that he’d caught Puck and Blaine making out at a party. He’d explained how vulnerable Puck could be and how Blaine had clearly taken advantage of Puck’s insecurities to trick him into fooling around. When Finn had tried to talk to Puck about it, when he’d tried to repair their friendship, Puck and yelled at Finn and quit the Glee Club the day before Regionals. New Directions had been left without a twelfth member. They’d been disqualified.
Since that awful fight, Puck had been on the swim team and the swimmers had made it their life mission to make Finn’s life miserable, all in the name of Blaine. Finn explained that Blaine was known for being easy. How he had a talent for getting straight boys drunk and making out with them. There was even a rumor that Sam Evans had let Blaine give him a blow job in the locker room after a swim meet, though nobody had ever confirmed it.
Finn told him that all Blaine cared about was being popular and getting laid. He said that Blaine would do or say whatever it took to get Kurt into bed with him, because to Blaine, sex was all about the conquest. The harder it was to get a boy into bed, the more he wanted them. Finn warned him to stay away because he didn’t want to see Kurt end up another name on a very long list.
Afterwards, they’d gone home and eaten dinner with their parents. Kurt had spent an hour trying to finish his homework, with no success. He just couldn’t get his mind to connect the Blaine Finn had told him about to the Blaine that Kurt knew. He couldn’t believe half of the things that he’d heard from Finn.
Kurt knew Blaine. At least, he’d honestly thought he did. He knew that he needed to hear Blaine’s side of the story. He would never be able to sleep so long as these horrible thoughts were running through his head. Blaine wasn’t the kind of guy to use him for sex. He was his friend. Blaine was his best friend.
This was why Kurt found himself pulling into the gravel parking lot of the coffee shop all the way out in Wapakoneta. He was relieved to see Blaine’s car there. He hadn’t even thought to check Blaine’s house before driving out there. He’d just assumed that this would be where Blaine was and he’d been right. Maybe he did know Blaine better than anyone else. Blaine had said that Kurt was the first person he’d shown this place to. His aunt had even confirmed it, saying that Kurt was the only friend of Blaine’s she’d ever met.
It was that fact that solidified everything for Kurt, he had to give Blaine the benefit of the doubt. Finn had a long history of being a bit dramatic and ignorant on so many issues. There were two sides to every story and this was Blaine. This was Kurt’s first real friend and the only other gay boy that Kurt knew. The only other person that understood just how traumatizing Ohio’s homophobia could be and has been for him. They’d shared so many secrets with each other in the last few weeks. Kurt owed it to himself and to Blaine to hear him out.
He got out of his car, pulling his coat closer to keep himself warm. It had been cold earlier, but now that the sun had gone down it was downright freezing. Angeli met him at the door with a sad smile, ushering him inside quickly so he could got out of the cold.
“I was beginning to think you’d never show up,” she said. The coffee shop was empty with the exception of Tiffany, who was cleaning up the espresso machine. The shop was closing for the night. Kurt looked around, surprised that he didn’t see Blaine anywhere. He knew that it was too cold for him to be out on the patio.
“He’s upstairs,” she explained, giving him a knowing look. “I’ve been given strict instructions not to let anybody know where he is.”
“He doesn’t want to talk to me,” Kurt said with an understanding nod. He should have known better. Of course Blaine didn’t want to talk to him. Kurt was supposed to be his friend and he’d taken Finn’s side, even when he’d claimed he wasn’t taking any sides.
“If I know my Dayong, it’s not that he doesn’t want to talk,” she explained with a kind smile. “It’s that he’s waiting for somebody to really listen.”
“I do really listen to him,” Kurt said defensively.
“Just let him come to you,” she said, walking him towards a door that Kurt knew led to her apartment upstairs, though he’d never used it before. “Blaine doesn’t respond well to poking and prodding.”
Kurt nodded, not entirely sure that he understood what she was trying to tell him, but he guessed he’d figure it out soon enough when he saw Blaine. He made his way up the stairs which opened right up into a small living room. Blaine was on the couch, headphones in his ears, reading a text book. Kurt could hear the music all the way across the room. Kurt recognized the song. It was one that Blaine had played for him a few days prior—“White Daisy Passing” by Rocky Votolato. Kurt had never heard of it before Blaine had played it for him.
There were a lot of firsts he shared with Blaine, he reminded himself trying not to feel bitter about it. There may have been some truth behind Finn’s words, but he couldn’t let himself believe that Finn was right about Blaine using him.
Kurt made his way over to sit down on the couch next to him. Blaine glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes, but he didn’t get any more response from him than that. Kurt wanted to take his headphones out of his ears. He wanted to force him to talk, to ask him all the questions that were on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to know if anything Finn had told him was real. However, one look at Blaine told him he wouldn’t get any answers out of him that way.
That’s what Angeli had been trying to tell him. That he wouldn’t be able to ask Blaine anything he if wanted to hear the story. He’d have to wait this one out. Let Blaine see that he could talk and actually be heard. Kurt understood that feeling. So often, he refused to talk to anyone about his own issues for the same reason. He knew how quickly people pretended to care only to forget about it as soon as the words had left his mouth. He still remembered reaching out for help at his old school, only to be called a liar by the faculty.
If Blaine was really his friend, then Kurt needed to act like it. He needed to treat Blaine the way that Kurt wanted to be treated. He needed to be there for him with no judgment.
Kurt resolved himself to the fact that he might not get any answers tonight. He told himself that it would be alright. That keeping Blaine in his life was more important than quelling his curiosity.
He reached over gently and took one headphone out of Blaine’s ear. Blaine looked at him, clearly about to snap, only to send him a curious look when all he did was scoot closer and put Blaine’s headphone into his own ear. The both sat there listening quietly as Blaine’s iPod shuffled through everything from Rob Thomas, Travis, Bon Iver, and even the occasional Pink song. Blaine continued to read his textbook, pretending to ignore him, back stiff and fingers tapping the side of his book in an anxious rhythm. Kurt just settled back into the couch, grabbing a magazine off the side table to look over while he waited Blaine out. It was some magazine for Filipino Americans, but it would do. It wasn’t like Kurt would honestly be reading any of it anyway.
After the third song, Blaine sank back into the couch with his book, no longer threatened by Kurt’s presence. It wasn’t anywhere close to where Kurt wanted to be, but it was a start. By the fifth song, he started looking at Kurt every so often, quickly averting his eyes anytime Kurt would look his way, trying to pretend he wasn’t looking. By the seventh song, Kurt knew he was almost there. Blaine had started worrying his lower lip, clearly working up the nerve to say something.
By the time Adele’s new single came on, Blaine had turned to him with an expectant look. Kurt bit his tongue, holding back everything he wanted to say. He was so close to Blaine opening up to him, he could see it. He didn’t want to screw this up now. He just needed a few more minutes.
He was right, by the end of the song Blaine was turning down the volume and clearing his throat.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice held just the slightest hint of nervousness, like he thought Kurt might attack him or something.
“You promised me coffee,” Kurt said with a small smile, hoping that would be enough to open Blaine up. He would have to leave soon if he wanted to make his curfew and he didn’t want to leave before he knew if they would be okay.
“I know Finn’s already told you all about me,” Blaine said, fiddling with a lose string on his cardigan. Kurt reached over to stop him; he would hate to see such a nice sweater pulled apart in his name. He’d already watched his favorite shirt and sweater get slushied and permanently stained this morning, he didn’t need to see any other pieces of clothing destroyed today.
Blaine looked over at him, waiting for Kurt to respond. He was waiting to see if Kurt would confirm his thought, if Kurt would admit to already knowing everything.
“He told me his side,” he responded carefully, unsure what Blaine wanted to hear.
Blaine scoffed at him and shook his head, turning his attention back to his textbook, trying to shut Kurt out again.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” Kurt said, desperate for Blaine to keep talking to him. He didn’t want to lose one of the only friends he’s ever had.
“I don’t understand why,” Blaine said, his tone was harsh but his eyes told a different story.
“For starters, I’d like to believe I know you a little bit better than my clueless, occasionally homophobic brother,” Kurt said softly, trying to convey to Blaine that he could trust him. “And I’d like to think that you know me better than that.”
“So what did Finn tell you? That I’m a slut that only cares about one thing?” Blaine asked his voice laced with bitterness. “Did he tell you that I’m one of those gays, the predatory ones they warn you about?”
“I don’t buy that,” Kurt said.
“He’s not wrong,” Blaine explained. “I did make out with Puck at that party. And that rumor about Sam isn’t entirely wrong. Hell, I’ve even made out with Tina and Mike one night when I’d decided drinking an entire bottle of tequila could solve the world’s problems. If he told you I’m a slut, he’s probably right.”
Kurt bit the inside of his cheek, telling himself not to be jealous. Blaine wasn’t exactly his to claim. Even if he was, these things had happened before they’d even met. Just because Kurt had zero experience before Blaine didn’t mean he could blame Blaine for taking advantage of the opportunity. They were teenage boys, after all.
“But contrary to whatever Finn might think, I didn’t trick them into it,” Blaine said.
“Then what happened?” Kurt asked, trying to keep his voice level. It wouldn’t do to let Blaine hear him upset.
Blaine looked at him for a bit before shaking his head. “Those aren’t really my stories to tell,” he said with an apologetic smile.
Kurt wanted to ask for more. He wanted to remind Blaine that he knew better than anyone how to keep a secret, but Blaine was talking again before he could assemble a decent argument.
“Did you know I wasn’t out when I first came to McKinley?” he asked.
Kurt shook his head. From everything he’d heard Blaine had always been out and proud.
“I never planned on coming out when I transferred,” he continued to explain, looking off at a spot on the wall behind Kurt, his voice growing distant, like he was lost in a memory of his own. “I’d come out at a school before and found out just how bad of an idea that could be. A couple of guys… well… I was content to stay in the closet.”
“What happened at your old school?” Kurt asked tentatively, not sure if he’d get an answer or be brushed off for prying.
It took a few minutes for Blaine to respond. Kurt could see him working up to it. Opening and closing his mouth with a shake of his head, clearly trying to find the right words.
“Do you remember that news report two years ago about that boy from Westerville High?” Blaine asked, his voice quiet, his hands trembling. Kurt nodded and took one of his hands into his own, lacing their fingers together. He did remember that report, just like he remembered Blaine’s half confession from the weekend. He knew what was coming and the thought of Blaine being that boy terrified him.
“They never released my name to the press, though they managed to get an interview from my date that night. My dad made sure that nothing ever got out about me, he wanted to protect our families’ privacy,” he explained, holding onto Kurt’s hand tightly. “I was hospitalized for six weeks afterwards and wasn’t allowed to return to school once I got released. I’d been expelled for fighting.”
“What?” Kurt felt himself growing angry. “How did you get expelled, what about the assholes that did this?”
“One of them was the sheriff’s kid; another had a state’s attorney for a father. That’s what you get for growing up in a rich town,” Blaine said, his eyes growing watery. “My dad fought it and it eventually got overturned. I was allowed to return to school that fall, but by that point I’d already missed too much of my freshman year. I had to repeat it. My dad wanted me to go back to Westerville because he didn’t believe in hiding from your problems.”
“Oh God,” Kurt whispered, knowing how terrified Blaine must have been being forced to return to the same school that had hospitalized him. It was the same fear Kurt had lived with every day that he’d gone to school with Karofsky.
“In my second month back, I got pushed down the stairs and broke my wrist,” Blaine laughed humorlessly. “After that, my dad decided to let me transfer to McKinley. He’d seen Mike compete at one of my meets and spent some time talking to Coach Roz. Apparently he felt my future as a swimmer would be better if I transferred. I still have no idea if he did it for swimming or for my safety. Either way, I’d long since decided that I would never come out again. At least not until I was living somewhere more accepting like New York.”
“I’m so sorry,” Kurt said, laying his head on Blaine’s shoulder, rubbing his thumb across the back of his hand comfortingly. He knew there wasn’t much that he could say to make it better, but he also knew that sometimes all people really needed was to know that somebody cared. That somebody noticed your pain.
“I kept my head down when I got to McKinley. Mike and I became good friends and he introduced me to some of the other kids at school. I did what I could to fit in and stopped doing the things that would make my being gay obvious. Pretty soon I had a good group of friends and people actually seemed to like me. It was nice.”
“What changed?” Kurt asked, because obviously something had to have changed because Blaine wasn’t in the closet anymore.
“Puck,” Blaine said. “Though I’m pretty sure this part of the story Finn already told you.”
“I know you two became good friends,” Kurt confirmed.
“We met at a party Mike was having, he was really upset because Finn wouldn’t talk to him anymore and I was taking a break out on the patio. Pretending to be straight is kind of exhausting, girls always throw themselves at you, and you have to be careful to seem interested while also doing what you can to just make it all stop. There’s nothing worse than a girl trying to show you their boobs, Kurt. Nothing.”
Kurt giggled a bit at that, trying to picture Blaine getting hit on by women. It’s a vision he’d seen in his mind regularly until this weekend, when he’d realized Blaine was gay. Now, after the things they’d done together and knowing how turned on Blaine was by other men, picturing Blaine with a girl was kind of hilarious.
“We started getting closer, and eventually Puck found out that I was gay,” Blaine said. “He told me that it was cool. That I liked sports and did manly things so I couldn’t be too gay.”
“Wow, not remotely offensive,” Kurt said sarcastically.
“I know,” Blaine agreed. “But he’s never trying to be offensive, unlike your brother,” Blaine said with a bite it.
“Finn’s not the greatest guy in the world, but he’s not purposefully offensive either,” Kurt tried to defend him, feeling a bit caught in the middle. “He speaks before he realizes what the words he’s saying mean. I know they hurt, trust me he’s said more than his fair share of things to me, but… I don’t know. He’s still my brother.”
“Yeah, well,” Blaine said with a suffering sigh. “Puck promised to keep my secret; he understood how terrified I was of people finding out. When Finn walked in on us making out a few weeks later, Puck told him that he didn’t care what Finn said about him, but he begged him to leave me out of it. He told Finn that I didn’t want people knowing that I was gay. The next day it was all over the school.”
“Finn outed you?” Kurt asked, shocked. Finn had left that part out of the story. Kurt had expected a number of things to come out of Blaine’s mouth about Finn and he was prepared to believe any of them. But this? This was something much more serious. Coming out of the closet was a personal choice and nobody should ever be forced out of it when they weren’t ready. He couldn’t believe Finn was capable of something like that.
“I confronted him about it later,” Blaine said. “I was prepared to hear him tell me that it was a mistake and that he was sorry. I was ready to forgive him, because apart from the boys on the football team, a vast majority of the kids at school actually supported me.”
“He didn’t apologize?” Kurt asked, already knowing the answer and feeling himself growing outraged on Blaine’s behalf.
“He thinks it’s my fault that it happened in the first place. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong,” Blaine explained. “Pretty soon Puck was quitting Glee Club and football over the entire thing. It wasn’t like they were getting along after the Quinn stuff, but Puck had still trusted Finn enough to not do that to somebody Puck cared about… Glee Club lost at regionals and then Finn lost the big football game afterwards. A few weeks later, a bunch of us qualified for Swimming Nationals. The school stopped caring about football after that. Ever since then it’s pretty much been football versus swimming at school.”
“I’m really sorry that Finn outed you,” Kurt said sincerely. “He had no right to do that, his problem was with Puck, not you.”
“Try telling him that,” Blaine scoffed.
Kurt pulled away and looked down at the floor, feeling horrible. When he came out, it was at his own choosing. Sure half the school had already suspected it, but at least it had been on his own terms. Blaine had been terrified of coming out—and for good reason. Finn had no right to do that to him. The worst part of it all was that Kurt wouldn’t be allowed to take sides in this. Finn was still his brother, and though he would be getting an earful from Kurt tonight, family was still family.
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up over this,” Blaine said, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. “It ended up working out for the best. Pretending to be straight was miserable. I don’t have to hide anymore and I’ve still got a great group of friends. It’s fine.”
“Really?” Kurt asked, giving him a surprised look. It hadn’t seemed fine that afternoon when Finn and Blaine were at each other’s throats.
“No,” he said. “But it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with. It happened a long time ago and apart from being unable to look at Finn after what he’s done to me and all the things he’s done to Puck, I’m fine.”
“I should probably get going,” Kurt said, exhausted. Had it only been this morning that he’d been slushied? Had it really been less than twenty-four hours since Kurt had fallen asleep to their sexting? It seemed so long ago. So much had happened since then. Having sex together in a closet, Finn and Blaine arguing, Blaine driving off without him… Today had been one of the longest days of his life.
“So soon?” Blaine teased, a smile on his face. Kurt was happy to see that the anger and resentment from earlier was gone and his happy, confident Blaine was back.
“I have curfew,” Kurt explained, sadly. He would be perfectly content spending the rest of the night on this couch with Blaine, but there was his father to contend with and a pile of homework to finish. With finals coming at the end of the week, he couldn’t really start blowing off his school work.
Kurt started to stand up, gathering up his coat and scarf that he couldn’t even remember taking off, when Blaine pulled him back down.
“Kurt, I just…” Blaine paused, closing his eyes for a moment to compose himself. “I know you’ve probably heard your fair share of things about me and not all of them are pretty. I just want to make sure you know that I really care about you. This is real for me.”
Kurt blushed at Blaine’s admission, barely able to meet his eyes.
“Why are you telling me this?” Kurt asked, feeling himself getting hopeful.
“Because I don’t want there to be any confusion over what we’re doing,” Blaine explained. “When I do this—” Blaine leaned in to give him a soft, lingering kiss. “I want you to know that it means something to me.”
Kurt smiled, happy to have the one fear that was still bothering him after today put to rest. After hearing about all the guys Blaine has made out with and Finn’s words about people not mattering, he just wanted the reassurance that this meant as much to Blaine as it did to Kurt.
The boys leaned in again, lips meeting tenderly. Kurt tilted his head to allow Blaine more access as Blaine’s fingers caressed the side of his neck lovingly. This wasn’t anything like the rushed kisses they’d shared earlier in the day—kisses that were hot and heavy and pushing at something more, desperate to get off together. This was gentle and slow, like they had all the time in the world together. These kisses were full of promises for the future and they made Kurt’s stomach dance with butterflies.
Kurt leaned in closer, stroking at Blaine’s hips, so small and narrow yet so strong. Blaine’s tongue grazed across Kurt’s, eliciting a low moan from him and a satisfied hum from Blaine. As their tongues began to dance together, Blaine shuffled around on the couch until he was straddling Kurt’s lap. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s waist completely to make sure that he didn’t fall of the couch.
Kurt broke of their kiss with a wet smack, ducking his head down to nuzzle at Blaine’s chin until he tilted his head back, allowing Kurt full access to his neck. He attached his lips to Blaine’s Adam’s apple, sucking hard and making Blaine whine and squirm around on Kurt’s lap. Kurt licked at it, moving around to the side of his neck, just below his ear. He began sucking there, noticing that Blaine’s breathing was becoming heavier; his hips starting to rock unconsciously. Kurt couldn’t help but smirk, knowing he’d found one of Blaine’s sensitive spots. He grazed his teeth over the area experimentally, surprised at how much of an effect the simple action had on Blaine, who was practically keening.
He bit down harder this time, pulling away and noticing that Blaine now had a small red mark. A mark Kurt had put there. It was surprisingly arousing knowing that Blaine would be walking around school tomorrow with an imprint of his mouth on his neck. Blaine growled and pulled him down onto the couch until he was lying on top of him.
Blaine began running his hands manically up and down Kurt’s back, clutching handfuls of his shirt, wrapping both of his legs around his waist. Who knew that one little bit to Blaine’s neck just below the ear could turn a boy on this much. Kurt was practically drunk with this newfound power over Blaine. He grabbed Blaine’s arms until they let go of his shirt and Kurt pinned them above Blaine’s head.
“This is a two-hundred dollar sweater that you’re ruining,” Kurt reprimanded him playfully.
“Then maybe you should take it off,” Blaine challenged him with an irresistible smile. His lips were swollen from all of their kissing and his pupils were blown wide, making his eyes look much darker, almost black in the low lighting of the room. Kurt was about to follow his advice when a familiar voice called up the stairs.
“Blaine,” Angeli yelled. They had just enough time to separate their lips and roll off of each other, but it wasn’t enough time to compose themselves before she walked into the room. If the knowing smirk she was giving them was any indication, she knew exactly what they’d been up to. “It’s getting late; Kurt probably needs to get going.”
“Tita!” Blaine’s face was buried behind his hand in embarrassment as he grumbled at her in Tagalog.
She just smiled at him, clearly amused at the entire thing and pointed to the door.
“Fine,” Blaine sighed, grabbing onto Kurt’s hand and pulling him to his feet. “I’ll just walk Kurt out.”
“It was nice seeing you again,” Angeli waved at him as Kurt was practically dragged from the small apartment and down the stairs.
“She has a knack for embarrassing me,” Blaine said as they made their way through the empty, dark coffee shop.
“You love her,” Kurt said, noticing the hint of affection Blaine used when talking about his aunt. It wasn’t there when he’d said the same thing about his own parents the other day.
“Obviously,” he said with a suffering sigh. “But Filipinos… I don’t know if there are any families more nosy than Filipinos.”
“You’re not leaving then?” Kurt asked as Blaine walked him towards the door.
“I’m staying here tonight,” he said with a small smile. “My parents don’t really know how to leave me alone when I’m upset, so sometimes I just crash here.”
“You’re not upset anymore, though, right?” Kurt asked, pulling at Blaine’s hip until he turned around to look at him.
“Of course not,” he said. “I mean, apart from the fact that you’re leaving me just as the night was about to get interesting.”
“Just think, by the end of the week finals will be over and we’ll have nine glorious days of no school and extended curfews.”
“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” Blaine teased, pulling him in for one last kiss before Kurt turned and went out into the cold to head home.
The freezing December air was as effective as a cold shower, and soon Kurt was over his temporary distraction and on the road home, careful to send his father a quick text to inform him that he’d be a few minutes late do to ‘inclement weather conditions.’ As close as he was to his father, he wasn’t about to admit the real reason he’d be late was because he’d gotten involved in an unscheduled make-out session with the incredibly irresistible Blaine Anderson.
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