[FIC] Carry Your Shame 6/18

Rating: NC-17

Beta: Laura aka- gottriplets <3

Warnings: First time sex, blow jobs, exhibitionism, sexting, gay sex all around- the usual :) This chapter contains homophobic language and violence

Summary: Kurt doesn’t think the Blaine Anderson will ever notice him, so he’s not in the least bit prepared for what happens when he does. (My take on the whole Popular!Blaine, nerd!Kurt trope)

This was written for this GKM prompt, so go check it out and possibly leave me some love <3

Part 1//Part 2//Part 3//(Blaine interlude)//Part 4//Part 5//Part 6//Part 7//Part 8//Part 9//(Blaine Interlude 2)//Chapter 10//Chapter 11

Carry Your Shame Playlist (organized by chapter)

*Side note- anyone looking to track this, it will always be tagged as “Fic: Carry Your Shame”

****

Kurt woke up the next morning content. He felt boneless in the way that only happens after a complete, deep sleep. He was satisfied and oddly… sticky?

It took him a moment to realize that he wasn’t in his own bed. He wasn’t even in his house. It wasn’t until somebody started nuzzling at his neck that he remembered where he was. It didn’t take much after that for the memories to start flooding back in full color. 

Blaine. Kurt was at Blaine’s house. He’d kissed Blaine. They’d actually made out. Then Blaine had touched him… Kurt had gotten off with another boy. Not just any boy-Blaine. 

Kurt’s mind was full of images of Blaine with darkened eyes, swollen lips and breathless exhilaration. They’d had sex. Okay, most people probably wouldn’t consider it sex, Kurt reminded himself. But still… he’d done sexual things. Him! The boy Karofsky said would never find love. Kurt felt so adult. 

It felt strange to say. He was a man now, according to society. 

Kurt kept his eyes closed and tried to relish the feeling of Blaine’s arms wrapped around him from behind, nose buried in the back of his neck. It felt so safe and serene. Kurt was terrified that would all disappear the second he moved. Blaine would wake up, realize what he’d done and who he’d done it with and call it a drunken mistake. Kurt would never get to be held like this again. 

He needed to cherish this moment as long as he could. 

Sadly, his body didn’t seem to agree. His stomach was already churning, courtesy of all the wine he’d consumed the night before. His head was throbbing. The room felt like it was spinning and Kurt didn’t want to know how much worse it would be if he opened his eyes. Or God, what about when he actually had to move?

Ok, so maybe drinking that much wasn’t the best idea. He’d have to remember that for next time. How did Blaine put himself through that on a regular basis? Kurt was ready to swear off alcohol forever with how crappy he felt. 

"Oh God," Blaine groaned behind him. 

Kurt turned around in his arms to meet his eyes, regretting it immediately. Even that small movement caused the entire world to turn around and flip his stomach violently. 

"Is it always this bad?" Kurt asked, trying to sound normal. Blaine obviously hadn’t put the pieces of last night together. He hadn’t let go of his grip on Kurt’s hip at least. Kurt didn’t plan on reminding him.

"It’ll get better once we get something to eat," Blaine said, burying himself into Kurt’s side. Blaine’s body was on fire which was making Kurt feel even grosser. They hadn’t bothered cleaning themselves up last night and that mixed with the overheated basement was making a shower absolutely overdue. 

Still, Kurt could put off showering for a bit longer. Blaine was just too adorable to abandon with his bed messed curls and sleepy affection. Kurt desperately wanted to take a picture, but he knew that would be creepy. 

"I don’t think I can eat," Kurt said. It was true, his stomach was too upset, but it wasn’t what Kurt really wanted to say. What he really wanted to say was ‘Thank you,’ ‘I think I love you,’ and ‘You’re utterly perfect.’

He didn’t think Blaine wanted to hear any of those things though, so he kept them to himself. 

"The grease help soak up any alcohol you still have in your system.  Plus it’ll give me a chance to take you out so we can talk," Blaine said, his voice was still scratchy with sleep but he was starting to wake up more. His grip on Kurt’s waist loosened but he didn’t let go. Kurt was confused, what did that mean?

"Is that the point where you tell me this was all a mistake?" Kurt asked, not knowing if he would be able to sit though that conversation. 

"Do you think it was a mistake?" Blaine countered. 

He wasn’t playing fair. Obviously Kurt couldn’t handle this like a rational person when Blaine’s thumb was tracing the outline of his hip bone. 

"That’s cheating. I asked you first," Kurt said, more breathless than was acceptable. Nobody had ever touched him the ways Blaine touched him. The only people that attempted to touch him were family and bullies. This was different and overwhelming in a heart squeezing perfect way. 

"Ok, fair enough," Blaine replied, playfully squeezing his side. 

That has to be a good sign, right? Kurt thought. Sure, Blaine was a flirt, but he wouldn’t send such mixed signals when trying to let Kurt down easy. He wasn’t stupid. 

"I think that we were really drunk last night," Blaine continued. Kurt felt all of his silly hope deflate faster than a balloon.

"Of course," Kurt said, willing himself to stay strong. Blaine didn’t need to see his disappointment. Kurt should have known better than to think Blaine would ever want him. 

"Would you let me finish?" Blaine asked, frustrated. Kurt wanted to tell him there was no point, he understood perfectly, but he let him continue. 

"I think we were really drunk so it probably wasn’t the best idea to fool around. I know what it’s like to have your first time happen under the influence of alcohol and regret it in the light of day. I never wanted it to be like that for you. If we were going to do something, I wanted you to remember it soberly and not regret it," Blaine finished, looking genuinely upset.

"It’s okay," Kurt said, not wanting Blaine to feel guilty over something that wasn’t a problem for Kurt. 

Sure, it would have been better sober. Kurt probably would have stopped at making out and wouldn’t have rushed into things. It felt weird to say that the first time he’d truly kissed a boy was also the first time he’d gotten a hand job. It made him feel a bit slutty. Had it happened with anyone but Blaine he’d be seriously freaking out, but it hasn’t. Now, Kurt just felt like it’d been inevitable. Whether it happened drunk last night or sober after a few dates, they’d have ended up in the same spot. 

"It’s not okay," Blaine said with a sad smile. "But I’m glad I didn’t fuck things up enough that you still care enough to lie."

"If you feel bad, we could always try it again sober," Kurt said the last part quickly, too embarrassed, too nervous about the possibility of being turned down. 

"Yeah?" Blaine said with a surprised smile.

Kurt felt his face flush and he knew that he was red all over. 

"You’re adorable when you blush," Blaine said leaning in close so that their faces were almost touching. Kurt was painfully aware of his morning breath and the fact that his face had to be disgusting from a night without his moisturizing routine. His pants were sticky and he reeked of alcohol. 

"I should probably go," Kurt said. "I need to shower and change out of these pants."

"Aw," Blaine groaned playfully. "You can’t stay a bit longer? I wanted to try out this sober making out thing you suggested."

Kurt was flabbergasted. He had been able to handle Blaine’s flirtatious jokes before when he knew they weren’t going to lead anywhere. This was different. This had potential and Kurt had zero experience. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say or not say and he really didn’t want to make a fool out of himself with Blaine, who was used to dating experienced college boys. 

"You could always borrow some of my clothes if that’s what’s bothering you," Blaine said hotly into his ear. He was running a distracting hand over Kurt’s stomach. "Unless you’re just trying to ditch me for some hotter date you’ve got lined up."

How Blaine managed to possess so many different layers confused Kurt. One minute he was an emotional mess, the next he was a sincere gentleman, then suddenly he’d be this overconfident sex god that no high schooler had a right to be. How could somebody be so confident and insecure at the same time? 

"Come on, Kurt," Blaine whispered seductively into his ear. "Tell me you don’t want me."

"You’re not playing fair," Kurt said glaring at him like he’d done something offensive when it was really quite the opposite. 

"You can’t really expect me to," Blaine teased, nibbling lightly at Kurt’s neck. It was bold. Kurt didn’t think he’d ever feel sure enough of himself to try a move like that, but he wasn’t going to fault Blaine for it. Not when it felt so Earth shatteringly good. 

"You threatened to leave first, I’ve gotta play every card in my hand," Blaine said, pulling away with an innocent smile, like he didn’t know exactly what he was doing. 

"Fine," Kurt sighed, acting put out. They both knew that was obviously a lie. 

Blaine stood up and pulled Kurt up with him. It took them both a minute for the world to stop spinning and their stomachs to settle again before they were alright enough to continue. Kurt let himself be led, hand tangled with Blaine’s, up the stairs until they were in Blaine’s bedroom.

Kurt had been in here before, several times in fact, but never once as Blaine’s… well he couldn’t really call himself his boyfriend. Not yet, at least. But ‘friends’ seemed like an odd term for two people that shared what they’d shared last night. 

It was strange to sit on Blaine’s bed and know what could happen now. What Kurt wanted to be able to do on that bed, what he’d always believed he’d never be allowed to do. 

Blaine came out of his closet holding up a clean pair of boxer-briefs and red jeans. 

"I know it’s not exactly up to your usual standard of fashion, but I’m pretty sure they’ll fit you alright since they are too long on me. 

"Thanks," Kurt said, grabbing the clothes from him and holding them up to his waist. They should fit. Kurt got a warm tingle thinking about sharing clothes with Blaine. It wasn’t a big deal to most people, but to Kurt, who lived for clothes, it was a level of trust and intimacy that he treasured. 

"There’s an extra toothbrush in the drawer," Blaine said, gesturing to the bathroom. 

Kurt closed the bathroom door behind himself and took a moment to really look in the mirror. He tried to ignore the obvious dry skin around his forehead and the patch of acne that was beginning to form on his chin after just one day without his regimen. There was nothing that could be done about that now and he hoped Blaine wouldn’t be able to tell. Instead he really looked at himself. He expected to look different. Older somehow, more mature. Yet all he saw was the same awkward boy he always saw. He still had the bit of baby far around his face that he couldn’t lose. His posture was still too feminine to ever pass for straight. He hadn’t changed. 

He didn’t know what he’d expected, but he’d expected something. Some sort of change so the outside world would be able to tell that things had changed. He wasn’t a freak. Somebody actually found him attractive. There was a boy on the other side of that door, an attractive boy, who wanted him. 

Kurt quickly brushed his teeth and changed into Blaine’s pants. They weren’t the usual skinny fit that Kurt usually bought, but they fit him well enough. They certainly hugged at his ass in a way that Kurt wasn’t ashamed of. He wondered if he could get away with keeping them without Blaine noticing. 

With one last look at himself, he stepped back into Blaine’s room to find him spread out in the bed, magazine in hand. When he looked up from the latest issue of Vogue, his eyes widened comically.

"Damn," Blaine said, licking his lips and quickly getting to his feet. 

"They fit," Kurt said, trying not to smile too bright as Blaine looped his fingers into the belt loops and pulled him in close to kiss him on the lips. 

It was even better now that they were sober. Kurt’s mind wasn’t clouded by wine and he could appreciate every aspect of this. The way Blaine’s unshaven chin rubbed against his cheek just so. The way his tongue tasted like his mint toothpaste. How he made this barely audible content hum the second their lips met. 

Kissing Blaine was heaven. 

"You can make anything look good," Blaine said, pulling away so he could drag Kurt over to the bed. 

"You’re just saying that to butter me up," Kurt said with a happy giggle. 

Blaine shrugged but didn’t say anything. He pushed Kurt backwards until he was sitting on end of the bed, then he settled himself between Kurt’s knees, leaning in to kiss him again. 

This time the kisses were deeper, more passionate. He picked up Kurt’s hands to settle them on his own waist before draping his arms around Kurt’s neck. Kurt had to tilt his  head back to reach Blaine’s lips from this position but he wasn’t complaining. He liked the feel of Blaine settling between his legs. He liked it even more when Blaine climbed onto the bed and straddled his hips. 

"Oh God," Kurt called out loudly as Blaine’s semi-hard erection brushed against his. 

Blaine pulled back to give him an amused look. He grinded against him again, giggling happily when Kurt moaned loudly. 

"Shut up," Kurt said, trying not to blush. He never realized how loud he would be, but he couldn’t contain it. Blaine just made him feel so many things so strongly.

Kurt was just starting to get fully hard with all of Blaine’s teasing when the sound of the garage door opening caused Blaine to literally fall off of the bed. 

"I thought nobody was coming home until tomorrow?" Kurt asked, confused. 

"Shit," Blaine said standing up and looking around frantically. 

"Blaine?!" a woman’s voice called as the door opened downstairs. "Sweetheart, we’re home!"

"Shit, shit, shit," Blaine continued to freak out and moved around the room like he could somehow stop time if he ran fast enough. 

Kurt stood up awkwardly, trying to will his erection away. The fear of being caught hadn’t quite reached his dick yet. It was understandable; his body had gone from a lap full of eager, attractive Blaine to nothing in a matter of seconds.

There were footsteps coming up the stairs loudly and before Kurt could even consider hiding, Blaine’s door flew open. 

"Blaine, we-Oh, I um… Hello," Mrs. Anderson said with her heavily accented voice. She looked at Kurt awkwardly. "Blaine didn’t tell me he was having a friend over."

"Mom, this is Kurt," Blaine said with a forced smile. "He’s one of my friends from school. He was just helping me with that History paper I’ve been struggling with."

She clicked her tongue in a disbelieving way and mumbled something in Tagalog that made Blaine blush. 

"It’s not like that," Blaine explained. "We weren’t doing anything."

She took another look at Kurt, and he could feel her inspecting his neck. He tried not to cower in her presence, but her disapproving, tired look made him want to crawl in a hole and die. He knew he wasn’t good enough for Blaine; she didn’t have to tell him. 

"Blaine, your father’s had a long week, perhaps its best that Kurt goes," she said sounding exhausted. Blaine just nodded and gestured towards the door, Kurt followed him out with an awkward goodbye to Mrs. Anderson. 

They both headed down the stairs where they ran into Mr. Anderson who looked at Kurt like he was a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his $1,000 Salvatore Ferragamo shoes. Kurt was used to feeling unaccepted. He was used to being treated as less than human. It wasn’t often from adults though and never was it by his potential boyfriend’s parents. He felt more than just unwelcome, he felt dirty and wrong. Kurt couldn’t ever imagine his dad treating Blaine like that, even if it was fairly obvious Kurt had spent the night. It begged the question, just how did Blaine’s parents deal with his sexuality? 

"I’m so sorry about that," Blaine apologized the second they were outside and the door was securely closed behind them. "I never would have had you over if I realized they’d be home so early. They’re a bit… much."

"It’s okay," Kurt said trying to smile even though he felt unwanted and more than a little insecure. It wasn’t like Kurt could tactfully ask Blaine what the hell was wrong with his parents. 

"It’s a shame they had to interrupt us," Blaine said, looking back to his house before shyly taking Kurt’s hands into his own.

"I know," Kurt responded feeling his face heat up at the thought of what Blaine’s mom had interrupted. 

Blaine leaned in to give him an innocent kiss on the lips, both of them knowing better than starting more when his parents could look out the window and see them. As their lips separated, Blaine purposefully kept his face close to his so that his nose was brushing against his cheek. Blaine’s fingers played with the hair on the back of his neck, teasing him and sending shivers down his spine that had nothing to do with the December chill. Both of them clearly wanted more but knew it would have to be goodbye for now. 

"Please grab some fast food on the way home," Blaine said. "It’ll help with the hangover. I don’t want your dad to see you like this; he’ll really think I’m a bad influence."

"Maybe you are," Kurt teased. 

"Oh, I know I am. I was just hoping it would take you longer to figure that out," he said. 

"Why?" Kurt asked curiously as he wrapped his arms around Blaine to keep him warm. He was shivering after only throwing on a sweatshirt to walk him outside. 

"So you wouldn’t leave me," Blaine said playfully, but the comment was like a punch in the gut for Kurt. What made Blaine think he would ever leave him? They were best friends, Kurt wasn’t just going to abandon him because he found out he wasn’t perfect. Was that really was Blaine thought?

****

Later that night, Kurt lay in his room unable to study for the Science test he had on Tuesday. Every time he opened his book and tried to memorize the Periodic Table he just kept picturing Blaine over him, grinding against him in that irresistible way. He could still remember the feeling of Blaine’s heavy, desperate tongue against his own. He knew that focusing would be impossible. The question was what to do about it.

His iPod was playing in the background, one of the bands Blaine recommended to him. It did nothing to help get his thoughts back to Science. Kurt realized he might as well stop pretending it was possible and just text him. They texted constantly before, why would tonight be any different? All avoiding texting Blaine was doing was making him think of Blaine more and in the way that made his pants significantly tighter. 

Kurt stood up and pulled his phone out of the player and settled back into his bed. 

To Blaine:

What are you doing?

Simple, Kurt thought, completely normal, not needy at all. He could totally do this. 

To Kurt:

dinner with the parents. My dad continues to pretend that you weren’t here this morning and his son isn’t gay

To Blaine:

Blaine…

Kurt didn’t know how he was supposed to respond to that. He felt guilty that he’d put Blaine in an awkward situation with his parents. At the same point, he didn’t. Blaine was gay, if they didn’t like that it wasn’t Kurt’s fault. 

To Kurt:

just distract me-it’s fine

To Blaine:

If you want to talk about it?

To Kurt:

I know where to find you-I know. I just can’t now. Please :/

Kurt felt bad knowing that Blaine was upset and he wouldn’t talk to him about it, but if a distraction was what he needed, Kurt could do that. He didn’t exactly know how to do that, but he could try. 

To Blaine:

I watched The Proposal today. Shirtless Ryan Reynolds is the best.   

Kurt wasn’t sure if that was the kind of thing Blaine was looking for, but he figured he’d give it a try. This would have been easy before. He would have brought up some TV show and they would have bitched about the main character. That was when they were friends though. Now they were something more. Kurt didn’t know what kind of things Blaine texted his past boyfriends about but he knew those boyfriends were in college. They were probably much less G-rated than Kurt’s texts. 

Oh God, is that what Blaine would expect from him? Could Kurt do that? God, he was messing this up, that’s why Blaine wasn’t responding right away. Kurt hadn’t even been given a chance to try and already he had failed. 

To Kurt:

sounds like you’re having a much better day than me :(

Ok, this was good. This was ok. Kurt could send a flirtatious text, right? How hard could it be? He thought about all these things he wanted to do to Blaine before. He’d said most of these things in his head. Hell, he’d read some NC-17 Jacob/Bella fics before on Tumblr—he could do this. 

To Blaine:

Not better than last night ;)

Oh God! Was the winking emoticon too much? It was too much. Blaine was going to see how painfully inexperienced he was and ditch him for the next college guy he met. 

To Kurt:

Kurt Hummel! Are you trying to sext me?! I’m scandalized!

Shit, Blaine had seen through him. Even worse, he hadn’t wanted him to send sexy messages. Kurt Hummel wasn’t even sexy, what made him think he could be? Last night and this morning was just a fluke. Blaine had come to his senses. He was going to forget all about it. How was Kurt supposed to get out of this one after the slutty message he’d sent. Stupid winking emoticon, he could have denied the whole thing if it wasn’t for that sassy wink. 

He was such an idiot. 

To Blaine:

What?

No!

I wasn’t I swear!

Yes, deny it to the grave, Kurt thought.

To Kurt:

I know-I’m joking. Calm down babe.

To Blaine:

Ok, good.

Great, crisis averted. Just…why did Blaine call him babe? He’d never done that before. Was he just trying to make Kurt feel even more humiliated? 

To Kurt:

not that there would have been anything wrong with that

you know, if you had been

Kurt was really confused. Was Blaine asking for him to sext him now? It sure sounded like it. Maybe Kurt could play it off as a joke, see if Blaine was serious before he embarrassed himself again.

To Blaine:

Blaine Anderson! Are you ASKING me to sext you? I’m scandalized!

There, he thought. It could be read as flirtatious teasing or as a friend messing around. No harm no foul. Perfectly neutral territory. 

To Kurt:

you didn’t seem that scandalized when my hands were down your pants last night 

Okay, so definitely asking him to sext him. This would be okay. Maybe Kurt could Google how to properly send sexy text messages. Yes, that would be best. Let the dirty minds of the internet explain the mechanics to a painfully inexperienced boy. He dragged his laptop over to him while typing out a message to Blaine. 

To Blaine:

Sadly I didn’t get to return the favor. I feel like I missed half the fun :/

Kurt opened his search engine and typed out how to send sexy text messages. Not surprisingly, Cosmopolitan had several articles on the subject that Kurt figured he could trust. That was the site that everyone used for sex tips or something, wasn’t it? Kurt had never really gone looking for sex advice before. He’d never thought he’d need to. 

Can you add me to your list of things to do today? Really Cosmo. Really? How was Kurt supposed to send that? He would sound like an idiot. 

To Kurt:

Well we can’t have that, can we? 

God, Kurt couldn’t respond with anything that these websites were telling him to say. They didn’t even have any helpful tips because everything was so contradictory. Keep the messages vague, let his imagination run wild was written right under describe every detail of what you’d do to him. This wasn’t going to work. He should just give up and try it on his own. Blaine knew him. He knew that Kurt wasn’t some crazy porn star; he was initiating a sext with him anyway. Blaine had to know what he was doing. 

It would be okay. Just be yourself, Kurt thought. 

To Blaine: 

I mean, not if you want me to have the true “first” experience and all. I think you’ll have to fix that. 

To Kurt: 

Don’t start something you’re not ready to finish ;)

Blaine was teasing him. This was good; Kurt was comfortable in this territory. He could act cocky and poke at Blaine. 

To Blaine: 

Oh, I think last night more than proves I’m ready. If I remember correctly, only one of us couldn’t wait long enough to finish things properly…

To Kurt: 

I can’t help it if you’re so incredibly attractive when you’re moaning my name. 

Kurt blushed a bit at that. He was still embarrassed at how wanton he had sounded when they were together, but if that was a turn on for Blaine… well Kurt could learn to get past that embarrassment. 

To Blaine: 

You liked that? Me moaning your name? Letting you know how badly I wanted you? 

God, Kurt didn’t even recognize himself right now, but he felt sexy—bold. He’d never taken the time to think about his own sexuality past the fact that boys gave him hard ons and the thought of boobs made him cringe. Maybe Kurt would be better at this than he thought. He certainly was catching on quickly. He was almost starting to become comfortable with the stirring in the pit of his stomach each time his phone light up with an incoming text. 

To Kurt:

I want you so much right now, it’s not fair.

To Blaine:

Come over

Kurt replied it almost instantly. The tightening of his pants was starting to reach a level that wasn’t easy to ignore. If they kept this up, he was going to have to take care of it. God, he would rather have it taken care of by Blaine. He’d love to feel those smooth hands on him again. 

To Kurt: 

Can’t. Early practice tom. Parents won’t let me leave :(

To Blaine:

Morning practices on Mondays now? Intense.

To Kurt: 

I’d rather be doing something else intense…

You’re supposed to be distracting me from my parents, not reminding me about how my dad is making me take private morning lessons on my days off. 

To Blaine: 

Right.

I don’t really know how to do this

Honesty, that was the best place to start right. Blaine could tell him exactly what he expected out of these texts and Kurt could give that to him. No more guessing and hoping he’d say something to spark Blaine’s interest. 

To Kurt: 

You’re doing fine so far

To Blaine: 

?

To Kurt:

Keep talking about wanting me. About how you moaned. I’m getting hard just thinking of the sounds you make with that pretty mouth.

Kurt tried not to think about all the experience Blaine must have if he could come up with those things so quickly. Kurt palmed himself over his jeans, trying to relieve some of the pressure there. 

To Kurt:

And we’ve barely even started. Imagine the sounds I could make if we really started to fool around. 

As Kurt undid the top button of his jeans, he felt all of his shame and filter go out the window. Nothing mattered except what felt good—what felt right. 

To Kurt: 

Hmmmm. What would you like us to do? 

To Blaine:

Well the first thing I’d have to do is get that shirt off of you. I’d need to have those hard earned muscles of yours on display. 

To Kurt: 

That can be arranged. Knew swimming would be good for something ;)

To Blaine:

It’s been good for a lot. 

I’d lick down your chest until I got to your hips. 

I’ve always wanted to bite at your muscles there and claim you as mine. 

To Kurt:

You have the softest lips. I’d be putty in your hands. You could do anything to me. 

To Blaine: 

Good to know ;) 

To Kurt: 

I would be aching by the time you got through with me. I’d be begging for you to touch me…

To Blaine:

I’d play coy for a bit. I wouldn’t want you to know how hard I am for you.

To Kurt:

Are you?

Hard?

To Blaine:

You know I would be.

To Kurt:

Are you now? Are those perfect hands touching yourself?

Kurt flushed as he looked down at his left hand which had found its way into his unzipped pants. How could he not be hard when Blaine was talking to him like this—when he could picture Blaine sending these messages so close to his disapproving parents? It felt exciting—exhilarating. 

To Blaine:

Only because I’m trying to remember how your hands felt

To Kurt:

Shit that’s got to be a sight.

To Blaine:

You sure you can’t come over and see for yourself?

Kurt was struggling to text with his right hand while his left was currently pumping at a delicious rhythm. 

To Kurt:

Don’t be mean. I really can’t. 

Fuck.

Are you really

Touching yourself? Shit.

To Blaine:

What you want me to send a picture and prove it to you?

Haha. 

To Kurt:

Yes.

The response came instantly. So instantly that it shocked him. 

To Blaine:

I was joking…

Kurt stared at his phone for a few more moments, waiting for Blaine to respond back but he didn’t. Was that really what Blaine wanted? Was that what Kurt wanted? The excited peak in arousal told him yes, but his head told him no. He’d read the horror stories of girls sending naked pictures. Read about how the pictures became leaked and the bullying the girls had had to endure afterwards. There had been a girl at his old school whose sex tape with her boyfriend had leaked and it had gone viral. She’d been committed to the hospital on suicide watch a week later. 

Kurt knew it was wrong. He knew it. So why did the thought sound so appealing? Probably because it was Blaine. Blaine was his closest friend and he would never do that to him. Kurt could trust him. Kurt typed out his next text nervously, still not 100% sure about what he was agreeing to. 

To Blaine:

Ok. 

Kurt pulled his pants down with shaky hands and stared at his fully erect, slightly leaking cock. It was decent size, he thought at least. Nothing terribly impressive, but not embarrassingly small either. He wondered what Blaine would think when he saw it. He had had his hands on it before, but he hadn’t really had a chance to openly gawk at it. Perhaps it was better Blaine was getting a picture of it first. If Blaine didn’t find it sexy, at least Kurt wouldn’t have to see his face. 

He took a picture of it on his phone and immediately erased it. It looked cheesy, like he was some wannabe porn star. Besides, it just looked so awkward there. Flopping around on his stomach hard and begging to be touched. He tried three more pictures from different angles, deleting every one of them. 

Finally he grabbed a hold of his cock and started stroking it, thinking it had to look less awkward than it just laying there. He snapped a picture quickly and sent it off before he could start doubting himself again. 

To Kurt:

Fivking shot!

Fucking shit*

Sorry.

That’s just

Do you know how sexy you are?

To Blaine:

Tell me.

Kurt wasn’t going to turn away compliments from the sexiest boy in Ohio. Not when he was feeling so vulnerable and exposed after sending that picture. 

To Kurt: 

I’m eating dinner with my parents, hiding my phone under the table with a raging hard on for you.

To Blaine:

Awkward for you ;) 

Kurt knew it was wrong to reveal in Blaine’s pain, but knowing that he could do that to Blaine when he was in such a public place? It was empowering and so incredibly sexy. 

To Blaine:

Seems like you need some help relieving that.

To Kurt: 

I’m going to be stuck at this table until they leave!

To Blaine:

If I was there, I could help you. Get you off under the table. They wouldn’t even have to notice.

To Kurt:

I’d have a hard time containing my pleasure.

But I’d do it for you.

To feel those hands on me.

To Blaine: 

Who said I’d be using my hands? 

The two of them texted each other back and forth for a good two hours. Kurt eventually fell asleep after his second orgasm and Blaine’s first picture of his own once he’d finally been able sneak upstairs. 

The next day, Kurt felt like he was walking on cloud nine. He couldn’t stop thinking about how perfect his life had become ever since moving to Lima. He had friends now. He had a boyfriend—could he call Blaine his boyfriend yet? He even had Glee club. After school today he would get to walk into that choir room and sing like he’d never been allowed to at his old school. There was nothing that would bring him down. 

Suddenly, a stinging pain hit him in the face like he’d been slapped. It was cold and burned his eyes and when he finally opened them to see where the laughing was coming from, all he could make out was a couple of letterman jackets walking away yelling over their shoulders. 

“Welcome to the Glee Club, bitch.” 

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