Beta: Laura aka- gottriplets <3
Warnings: First time sex, blow jobs, exhibitionism, sexting, gay sex all around- the usual :) This chapter contains homophobic language and violence
Summary: Kurt doesn’t think the Blaine Anderson will ever notice him, so he’s not in the least bit prepared for what happens when he does. (My take on the whole Popular!Blaine, nerd!Kurt trope)
This was written for this GKM prompt, so go check it out and possibly leave me some love <3
*Side note- anyone looking to track this, it will always be tagged as “Fic: Carry Your Shame”
Kurt was awoken late on Friday night—so late that it should technically be considered early Saturday morning—by the sound of his phone ringing. He let it go to voicemail, too tired to figure out who would be calling him at this hour. Then it rang again. Then again. Until finally, Kurt was pushing the covers off of himself and walking across his room to where his phone was plugged in.
“Hello?” Kurt snapped, too tired to open his eyes properly, he stumbled back into bed.
“I need you, come and get me,” Blaine said. “Us. No, me. Yeah… us. Nope, just me.”
He was rambling and his voice sounded funny. He was mumbling his words and they were strung together like he was really tired or…
“Are you drunk?” Kurt asked, suddenly remembering where Blaine was supposed to be tonight.
He’d driven up to Ohio State with Puck and a few of the boys from the swim team. He hadn’t heard from Blaine since the ‘good luck’ text he’d sent before Kurt’s audition. He hadn’t even responded to Kurt’s text that his rendition of Florence + The Machine’s “The Drumming Song”—sung at Blaine’s suggestion, Kurt hadn’t even heard of the song before—had gone over well. Of course, Kurt assumed by the time he’d sent it that Blaine was lost to a crowd of frat guys and slutty girls.
Kurt rolled his eyes, unimpressed. Blaine had to be drunk; he was usually so eloquent. “Did you consume alcohol? Are you going to end up on an episode of Cops throwing your shoe while you run around in a wife beater and complain about your stolen forty?”
“I’m at a college party,” he said with a laugh that was probably supposed to sound much happier than it did. “Come.”
“Ohio University is three hours away,” Kurt explained like he was speaking to a toddler. Blaine was usually so intelligent, if alcohol could make him so dumb he shuddered to think of what Finn was like when he drank.
“I didn’t drive here,” he said defensively, like that somehow would change the distance it took to get from Lima to Athens.
“Well let’s thank God and the lives of innocent people for that,” Kurt mumbled. Drunk Blaine was not somebody Kurt was interested in being friends with, not at 3:45 in the morning.
“Kuuuuurrrrrrrrrttttttttt,” Blaine whined and Kurt was delighted to note that it wasn’t remotely enticing.
He’d taken to making a list of all the bad things Blaine did so that he could make himself feel better about their lack of romance together. So far this would make number three which was sad, considering the list of things he absolutely loved about Blaine had reached number 236.
He should probably delete the actual list he’d made off of his phone so Blaine didn’t accidentally stumble across it and realize Kurt was a crazy stalker.
“What do you want me to do?” Kurt asked, already mentally going through his closet for a quick outfit he could put together. He wasn’t impressed by this version of Blaine, but he knew that he’d be pathetic enough to do whatever Blaine asked anyway.
“I need you to come and get me,” Blaine said, his voice sounded off again, but not drunk this time. It was suspiciously wet.
“Okay, I need to understand what is going on, then,” he said.
“They left,” Blaine said, clearly annoyed that Kurt didn’t already know this.
“What do you mean they left? Your friends?”
Kurt took his annoyed grunt as an affirmative and began to grow angry. What kind of friends would just leave another friend at a party three hours away from home? Of all people to abandon, Blaine? He was the nicest guy around. Now he was out there all by himself, drunk and incapable of getting home.
“Who does that?” Kurt asked, more to himself than anyone else.
“I said it was okay,” Blaine said, before Kurt heard a big smack from the other end of the phone and some swearing as the phone seemed to fall out of Blaine’s hand. It took a few minutes to get Blaine back on the line, but when he did, Kurt was furious.
“Why would you tell them to leave you behind? That’s just stupid. How on Earth are you supposed to get home? You’re drunk! Why did they even listen to you?”
“Why are you yelling at me?” Blaine asked, his tone growing more angry than upset, like it’d been earlier.
“I’m not!” he yelled. “Okay, sorry,” Kurt said, lowering his voice this time. “I’m not yelling at you. I’m just… tell me what happened.”
“Nevermind, it’s stupid,” Blaine said. “I shouldn’t have called you.”
Kurt was about to tell him that it wasn’t stupid, when the line cut off. Blaine had hung up on him.
“Seriously?” Kurt groaned, sitting up in bed and throwing his phone down on the comforter in frustration. Had Blaine really woken him up to ask for help only to hang up on him a minute later?
Well fine, Kurt thought. He could just walk home.
He went to lie back down, before he realized that he couldn’t just leave Blaine in Athens by himself. For starters, Blaine was drunk and an asshole but he was still his best friend. Besides, even if Kurt wanted to let it go he would never be able to sleep now. He picked his phone back up and called Blaine’s number, walking towards his closet as he listened to the line ring.
“People suck,” Blaine whispered once he finally picked up the phone.
“Blaine, it’s fine,” Kurt said, trying to talk him off the cliff he seemed to be on. “I’m coming to get you.”
“I just don’t get it,” Blaine said and he sounded so small, so fragile. Kurt had seen a lot of sides to Blaine and he knew that there was more than just a popular jock there… but Kurt had never heard Blaine sound so breakable. He’d never seen him completely drop the confident mask he wore like a shield.
“What happened?” Kurt asked, growing scared. He hoped nothing horrible had happened to lead to this. Blaine had been completely fine earlier today. “Please talk to me.”
“Nobody loves me,” Blaine said so quietly, Kurt was sure he’d heard things.
“Everybody loves you,” Kurt said with a shaky laugh, not sure how much he should be panicking. Maybe Blaine was just a sad drunk and nothing serious had actually happened, but maybe it had. He wouldn’t know if he couldn’t get Blaine to talk to him. “You’re Blaine Anderson.”
“I don’t want them to love Blaine Anderson, I want them to love Blaine.”
“The fact that any of that made sense is frightening to me,” Kurt said, quickly changing his clothes as he balanced the phone on his shoulder.
“Kurt…” Blaine started before trailing off.
“Can you just be here?” Blaine asked sounding pretty pathetic.
Kurt could feel his heart breaking at the sound of it. It was such a small request, but it was everything to Kurt. Nobody had ever wanted him or needed him. He’d never been anything to anyone except a punching bag. The fact that Kurt was the number Blaine called when he was hurting, it was amazing. He finally felt cared for by somebody other than his dad.
The horrible part, the part that Kurt hadn’t fully understood about friendship, was that because Blaine was breaking Kurt was breaking, too. He didn’t realize he could empathize with somebody so much that wasn’t blood related. Kurt was willing to do anything to make it stop. He couldn’t take the sound of Blaine so lost.
“I am here,” Kurt said, sounding more confident that he knew he could be. Kurt could do this; he could be a strong person if Blaine needed him to be. “I’m never going to be anywhere but here. I just need some time to get to you, okay?”
“Okay,” Blaine said, he sounded tired, like he was dozing off. “I’ll wait. I’ve been…”
“Been what?” he asked, grabbing his bag and keys off of his vanity and quietly heading down the stairs. There was no way Kurt would leave without talking to his dad about this first, but he didn’t have to wake the whole house when he left.
“Waiting for you,” Blaine said through a yawn.
“Listen to me,” Kurt commanded, knowing that Blaine wouldn’t be coherent for much longer. “I need you to get up and go find somewhere well lit with other people. Is there a twenty-four hour diner or something you can go wait at?”
“There’s a streetlight here and one of those rape phones, I’m fine,” Blaine mumbled.
“No, get up,” Kurt said sternly, his mind going crazy at the word rape phone. God, he had to make sure Blaine didn’t fall asleep on some random bench and get mobbed. “Go to the nearest diner and stay there. I’ll come and get you as soon as I can.”
“There’s a Denny’s two blocks away,” Blaine said. Kurt could hear some shuffling on his end, which Kurt took to mean that he had started heading there. Thank God.
“What street is it on?” Kurt asked.
Whatever Blaine mumbled, Kurt didn’t catch it. He figured there could only be one Denny’s in Athens near the campus anyway. He’d just google in it when he got closer; he had a smart phone for reasons like this.
“I’m going to stay on the line, tell me when you get there,” Kurt instructed as he walked into the kitchen. He kept his phone to his ear, but didn’t bother talking to Blaine any further. He wasn’t going to get much more out of his drunken friend, but at least the sound of the street and his random string of curses whenever he bumped into something let him know Blaine was still there.
He wasn’t surprised to see his dad in the kitchen. He had to be at the shop at 5am every day to open, so he was usually up before the sun. He was sitting at the table reading a magazine, drinking coffee and eating cereal.
“Why are you up,” Burt asked casually until he noticed Kurt was completely dressed and on the phone. Then his curious smile fell as he pursed his lips. “Where exactly do you think you are going?”
“Blaine’s gotten himself into some trouble, so I’ve got to go and pick up him,” Kurt explained, holding the speaker away from himself, but keeping it close to his ear so he could make sure Blaine was still there.
Kurt thought about making up a story, but there was no point in lying to his father. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. In fact, his dad had always taught him the importance of being there for people he cared about. If anything, he should be proud Kurt was willing to sacrifice his precious sleep to go help out a friend.
“What kind of trouble?” he said, still suspicious.
“He’s at Ohio State and his friends all left him,” Kurt explained. “He has no way to get home.”
“What is Blaine doing all the way out there?” Burt asked, though Kurt could tell he already knew the answer, he just wanted Kurt to say it so he’d have an excuse to be angry.
“He was at a party,” he said.
“You kids are going to college parties now?” Burt asked, his eyebrows raised in shock. Kurt had barely ever left the house before they’d moved to Lima. The thought of him at a college party was a bit preposterous.
“I wasn’t at any party,” Kurt kindly reminded him. “I’ve been upstairs asleep.”
“Let me see if I’ve got this straight,” Burt said, crossing his arms across his chest and settling back in his seat, preparing for a fight. “Blaine went to a college party where he, I assume, got drunk and then was abandoned. So you thought you would get into your car at four in the morning and drive over three hours to go pick him up.”
“You know Blaine,” Kurt reminded him, trying to calm him down. “You like Blaine.”
“Your dad likes me? Cool,” Kurt heard Blaine slur, but chose to ignore him for the time being.
“I didn’t realize he drinks,” His dad responded.
Kurt could see where his dad was coming from with his concern, but it didn’t make Blaine any less of a person. He was still the first real friend Kurt had ever had. He was still the boy that was unfailingly kind to Kurt when he had no reason to be. He was the boy who brought over dinner, watched American Pickers with Burt when he’d come home from the shop early and they’d had to cut their Top Model marathon short. He did dishes after dinners with the Hummel-Hudsons and was completely respectful and well-mannered at all times. One bad night couldn’t honestly change his dad’s opinion on him, could it?
“He’s a good kid,” Kurt reminded him. “You know he is, but he’s also sixteen. He’s going to mess up. He’s not as perfect as his 1950s sock hop-and-milkshakes style would have you believe.”
“Hey!” Blaine interrupted, letting Kurt know he was at least coherent enough to hear the slight jab. Other than that, Kurt had to continue to ignore him. He had his father to contend with, which was more than enough.
“Are you drinking now?” Burt asked, completely serious, but also sincere. He expected an honest answer, but he wouldn’t judge him for whatever that answer was. That was how their family worked. Unconditional love and honesty kept them together.
“Yes, Dad,” Kurt said sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood so his dad would just let him go. They were wasting time and Kurt didn’t feel comfortable leaving Blaine to his own devices for long. “Clearly, I leave the house all the time and have killer ragers. I have so many friends it’s hard to remember their names. I just can’t stop sneaking out to parties at 4 in the morning. What do you think?”
“I don’t know,” Burt shrugged. “New school, new friends. I was hoping things were different for you here.”
“They are different,” Kurt said, trying to put his dad’s mind at ease. The last thing he needed was him worrying over Kurt’s lack of social life. “I have Blaine now. But I’m still me. I’m not going to be going to any parties any time soon. Now can I go? Blaine really does need me.”
“Fine,” he agreed. “Take the GPS and don’t drive too fast. I expect you to text me when you get there and to make smart decisions.”
“Alright,” Kurt said.
“And no drinking.”
“Like that’s even a possibility,” Kurt snorted.
“You’d be surprised,” Burt said.
“Okay.” Kurt rolled his eyes but leaned in to give his dad a quick hug.
He pulled away and practically ran to his car. It would take every bit of three hours to get to Blaine and Kurt needed to get on the road as fast as he could.
“Are you still walking?” Kurt asked.
“Hmmm, you said nice things ‘bout me,” Blaine said, sounding a bit more cheerful and awake. Kurt hoped that meant he was waking up a bit and somebody was providing him with coffee.
“Alright, well I’ve got to hang up so I can drive safe. Don’t go anywhere,” Kurt instructed.
“It’s aye-aye, captain,” Kurt corrected with as little judgment as he could manage. Really, where had his wonderfully witty Blaine gone?
“Freudian slip, I guess,” Blaine said and Kurt was glad that at least his vocabulary was still there if his drunken mind was using the words incorrectly.
“You do know that Freudian slips are supposed to be about the interference of unconscious desire, right?” Kurt corrected him.
“Going to nap now,” Blaine said and the phone was disconnected before Kurt could say anything else.
Exactly three hours and six minutes later, Kurt found himself walking into Denny’s and searching for Blaine.
“Are you here to pick up the munchkin?” A tall boy, college age, asked him. “He told me to look for blue eyes and Vogue, I didn’t get it… it makes sense now.”
“Where is he?” Kurt asked and was directed towards the back of the restaurant. He made his way over and had to smile at the sight that greeted him, it was every bit as disgusting as it was sweet. Blaine was passed out next to a plate of chocolate chip pancakes.
Kurt slid into the booth next to Blaine and gently prodded him awake, laughing when Blaine nearly jumped three feet in the air at the sight of him.
“Not exactly your proudest moment,” Kurt teased as he settled back and ordered a coffee for himself. If he was going to be making the drive back to Lima, he would need a lot more caffeine to stay awake.
“I’m sorry I called you,” he responded, his words, thankfully less slurred. He was staring at his plate, a blush coloring his cheeks and neck.
“Are you?” Kurt asked, worried that Blaine wasn’t happy to see him.
“Not really,” Blaine said, looking up at him with suspiciously wet eyes. “But I’m probably supposed to be. I made you drive so far and woke you up.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asked, hoping Blaine would talk to him about whatever it was that was clearly bothering him.
“I don’t know what happened to Puck and the guys,” Blaine explained.
“So they just left you at a party where you didn’t have a ride home?” He reminded himself to keep his voice down. It was no use yelling at Blaine, this wasn’t his fault. The person Kurt should be yelling at was Puck.
“We got in a fight,” Blaine admitted.
“Puck didn’t like that I was hanging out with my ex. He told me that he was an asshole and treated me like shit, I didn’t listen to him,” Blaine said quietly. It was weird to see him acting so quiet and unsure; he was always so loud and outspoken. This was the boy that shamelessly flirted with anything that moved.
“Wait, Puck told you that he treated you like shit?” He wasn’t following this.
“No,” Blaine sighed, like Kurt just wasn’t getting something that should have been obvious. “Puck said that my ex treated me like shit, I just didn’t listen to him. So Puck got annoyed and left to go to another party with Sam. He said that he didn’t want to have to watch us together the whole night.”
“So Puck’s still in here then? Maybe?” Kurt asked, wondering why Blaine hadn’t just called Puck up instead of him.
“He was right,” Blaine said. “Kind of, I guess. It’s not Riley’s fault though… I think I’m just unlovable. Do you ever feel like that?”
“Every day,” Kurt said, a bit breathless. His words caught in his throat at Blaine’s admission. It was shocking to realize that Blaine actually believed the words he was saying. Heartbreaking.
“But Blaine, you have to realize how ridiculous it is for you of all people to feel that way. Everybody loves you. Whatever Riley did, she’s an idiot. Okay? You’re perfect.”
“He,” Blaine said before giving him a peculiar look and bursting into sudden, hysterical laughter.
“What?” Kurt asked, annoyed that he was being left out of the joke. He didn’t like thinking that Blaine was laughing at him.
“Oh my God,” was all Blaine seemed to be able to say before falling into another round of laughter.
“Blaine,” Kurt said, beyond annoyed. He just wanted Blaine to tell him what was so funny.
“Riley is a boy,” Blaine said like Kurt was slow.
“But how could he be a boy if you dated him, I mean that would mean you’d have to be bi or… Oh, my God,” Kurt said, suddenly feeling ridiculous for ever thinking otherwise. “Riley is a boy… Of course Riley is a boy. You’re gay. I’m an idiot.”
“Yeah,” Blaine said, smiling for the first time all night. “I don’t understand though, everybody knows.”
“I guess I just didn’t want to assume,” Kurt said, embarrassed. “And you’re so popular; I didn’t think it was possible.”
“To be gay and have friends?” Blaine asked, giving him a knowing look.
Kurt just shrugged, feeling overwhelmed by this new revelation. If Blaine was telling the truth and everybody really did know that Blaine was gay, then that meant that people were okay with it. They were still friends with Blaine despite his attraction to other men. So that meant Kurt’s belief that the only reason he’d been picked on his entire life was that he was gay… that meant it was a lie. That it wasn’t gay people that Ohio hated, it was just him.
“So you were with your ex earlier?” Kurt asked, wanting to direct the conversation away from himself before he had to admit to Blaine what an absolute loser he was. If Blaine could believe that he was unloved when everyone at McKinley worshiped him, what did that mean for Kurt?
“Can we please not talk about that giant drunken mistake?” Blaine practically whined. “Puck was right.”
“How long were you guys dating?” Kurt asked, pushing the issue because he was curious now.
Blaine was gay. Blaine Anderson, possible love of Kurt’s life and the hottest boy to ever wear a Speedo was actually gay. He was gay and interested in boys and that meant maybe, possibly, in some twisted universe, Kurt stood a chance with him. If Kurt was going to make Blaine his, he needed to find out everything he could about the people that Blaine liked to date.
“Can I tell you something embarrassing?” Blaine asked, holding out his pinkie to make Kurt promise that he would never tell anyone. Kurt held up his own and linked it with Blaine’s, trying not to smile at the feeling of sitting there with Blaine practically holding hands.
Okay, so they were just pinkies, but it was a step in the right direction.
God, Kurt was pathetic.
“I don’t think we ever were. I think I made it all up in my head,” Blaine said. “I mean, we hooked up at a couple of parties and he’s taken me out for coffee before, but it just… That should mean something right?”
Kurt shrugged; he really wasn’t the right person to ask for dating advice. His experience started and ended with watching old black and white romance movies.
“He told me I was just a kid,” Blaine sighed, picking at his cold pancakes with his fork. “That wasn’t the tune he was singing a couple weeks ago when he was begging me to go down on him, but I guess I’m just some stupid boy who misread the signs.”
“You’re not stupid,” Kurt said, trying not to blush at the thought of Blaine going down on anybody.
Gorgeous Blaine, perfect head of curly locks and perfectly defined muscles kneeling before him with his head buried in… Kurt had to stop himself from picturing it before he got too carried away. They were in the middle of a diner and Kurt didn’t want to have to explain a boner to Blaine.
This wasn’t exactly the conversation he had been expecting to have when he prodded Blaine for more information. Kurt didn’t talk about sex, ever. For starters, he never had any friends to talk about it with before. Second, his father was mortified of the sex talk, and thankfully, hadn’t forced him to have it yet. Finally, Kurt had tried watching those kind of movies, and it just… he didn’t understand why anybody would want to put something up there. It was just so… unsanitary.
No, most of Kurt’s fantasy’s ended around third base. The idea of full on sex terrified him.
“I’m sorry,” Blaine sighed. “This is depressing; we should talk about something else.”
Kurt agreed but couldn’t come up with any other topics. Try as hard as he might, his mind just kept going back to the image of Blaine on his knees for another man.
It wasn’t… Well, Kurt certainly wasn’t getting turned on by it. No, definitely not. Blaine was a wonderful, gorgeous boy that deserved to be swept off his feet and treated like a prince. He wasn’t an object for sexual fantasy… No. Kurt wasn’t saving that image to think about later. That would be wrong.
Oh, who was Kurt kidding? He’d been objectifying Blaine since the second they met on the stairs. He’d been fantasizing about him before bed ever since he’d seen Blaine in that Speedo. The difference between Kurt and this Riley character, who’d clearly be using Blaine for sex, was that it was about more for Kurt. Kurt wanted Blaine for more than just his delicious body. He wanted the romance, candy hearts and intimacy that came from really knowing somebody.
“You should let me take you to one of these parties one day,” Blaine said. Kurt snorted; the thought of him at a party was laughable.
“I’m serious,” Blaine said. “The boys are always really cute and it’s far enough away from Lima to be able to have some anonymity.”
“Of course,” Kurt said, bitterly. God forbid Blaine take him out anywhere where people might see them and know them. All images of the two of them living happily ever after were gone as Kurt remembered that Blaine couldn’t even be seen in public with him.
“What?” Blaine asked, sounding offended.
“Nothing,” Kurt shrugged it off. Blaine probably hadn’t meant it like that; he was just being paranoid again.
“So what do you say? Will you join me sometime?”
“I can’t say you’ve painted the most appealing picture for college parties. Sleeping at a Denny’s and drunkenly crying to me on the phone,” Kurt said, a bitter tone to his voice.
“No, no… no no no,” Blaine said repeatedly, he was getting really excited and for some reason this just annoyed Kurt even further. How could he be so excited at the prospect of hanging out with Kurt when he was obviously so ashamed to be his friend?
“They are great,” Blaine continued, oblivious to his anger. “This one only sucked because I got dumped again. But they are great. So awesome! Do you know what we should do?”
“Take you home,” Kurt said with a roll of his eyes. He called the waiter over to ask for the bill. They should be hitting the road so they could get back to Lima.
“We need to get you to a college party,” Blaine said. “There are just so many boys, it’s like you’ve stepped into an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog and all the models are gay. It’s amazing.”
“For you,” Kurt rolls his eyes. “I’m sure they love the whole junior Olympian swimmer thing you have going on.”
“Please, you’re much more their type than I ever will be,” Blaine said, looking him up and down. “Boys look at me and they see a kid that’s just going through a phase. They think I’ll grow out of it once my dad throws enough money at the problem and I get past my teenage rebellion. Then there is you, so sure of who you are and not hiding anything. All that confidence is a turn on to them. And those pants you paint on don’t hurt either.”
Kurt couldn’t help but glow at Blaine’s words. He’s never had anybody tell him that he’s attractive before, and while Blaine didn’t say that exactly, it was still nice to be praised. It was nice to see Blaine look him up and down with a hungry expression. He was looking at Kurt the same way that Kurt had been looking at Blaine since they’d met.
God, Blaine had been gay ever since they met. Every smile, every touch that lingered too long, that was all flirting. He’d been trying to ignore it because he’d believed Blaine was straight, but now…
Maybe Blaine really did want Kurt in the same way.
“We should get going,” Kurt said with as steady a voice as he could muster when inside he was jumping around like a middle school girl. “It’s seven thirty in the morning and we still have a long drive ahead of us.”
“My knight in shining armor, driving all the way out here to save me,” Blaine teased, batting his eyelashes in an over-exaggerated way.
“Come on my Drunken Beauty,” Kurt said, playfully pulling him out of the restaurant so he’d have an excuse to hold onto Blaine’s hand. “This time you can sleep in the car instead of in your pancakes—much more dignified.”