[FIC] Carry Your Shame 1/18

Rating: NC-17

Beta: Laura aka- gottriplets <3

Warnings: First time sex, blow jobs, exhibitionism, sexting, gay sex all around- the usual :) This chapter contains homophobic language and violence

Summary: Kurt doesn’t think the Blaine Anderson will ever notice him, so he’s not in the least bit prepared for what happens when he does. (My take on the whole Popular!Blaine, nerd!Kurt trope)

This was written for this GKM prompt, so go check it out and possibly leave me some love <3

Part 1//Part 2//Part 3//(Blaine interlude)//Part 4//Part 5//Part 6//Part 7//Part 8//Part 9//(Blaine Interlude 2)//Chapter 10//Chapter 11

Carry Your Shame Playlist (organized by chapter)

*Side note- anyone looking to track this, it will always be tagged as “Fic: Carry Your Shame”


Kurt loaded his books into his locker as he watched Finn’s retreating back. Of course his step-brother wasn’t going to walk him to class. He had more important things to do than babysit Kurt. Of course Kurt was going to be stuck at this new school all by himself, he didn’t know why he thought it would be different this time. 

At least you’re away from Karofsky, Kurt reminded himself. He hadn’t told his father why he’d been so eager to move to Lima after the marriage so that they could live with Carole and Finn. Kurt hadn’t told anybody. The kiss was something entirely traumatizing and horrifying, and after the death threat, he never intended to share it with anybody. Not that anyone would listen to him, the kids at his old school never paid him any mind. The only time anyone had talked to him was to make fun of him. 

He was better off at McKinley. He could start over herewith or without Finn’s help. 

Kurt glanced at his schedule and the accompanying map that the secretary had given him this morning. He had been able to sign up for almost all of the same classes he had been enrolled at in at Hamilton High with the exception of Fashion Design. It was the only class that he enjoyed and now he wouldn’t be able to spend an hour each day escaping behind soft fabrics, bold designs and the oddly soothing sounds of scissors and sewing machines. 

It would be alright though. Carole had told him McKinley had a Glee Club. Finn was already a part of it and Kurt could join. He’d been too scared to join the choir at his old school, too worried about standing out. All of that could change for him. He could finally sing like he’d always wanted to and maybe if he was lucky, he could shine without being tormented for it. His brother was the quarterback of the football team, that had to count for something right? 

Kurt made his way down the busy hallway in search of his chemistry classroom. Everyone seemed to be moving in the opposite direction of him, but Kurt assumed that was probably normal. They must just have class in the other wing, he double checked the map and knew that he was headed in the right direction. Only, when he reached the classroom, he was surprised to see all the lights were off and nobody was inside. 

He looked around the hallway, but it was deserted. All of the other classrooms seemed to be empty as well. Maybe he’d read the schedule wrong, perhaps the school ran on some sort of block scheduling. Though, he was sure the secretary would have mentioned it if they did. He made his way back out to the main hallway, hoping there would be somebody that appeared approachable enough to ask. 

Kurt stood on the steps of the stairs, overwhelmed by the crowd. Everyone was yelling and calling out to each other loudly. Kids ran off in search of friends while other groups of students huddled around lockers, laughing and telling jokes. He knew that he would have to ask somebody what was going on if he ever wanted to make it to his classes today. He just didn’t know who. Everybody seemed busy and surrounded by a bunch of people. He didn’t really feel like introducing himself to six people at a time, he was barely comfortable introducing himself to one person. 

Damn, he wished Finn hadn’t abandoned him. 

Kurt jumped as a boy, slightly shorter than him, walked past. He was wearing high water jeans with boat shoes and a red, form-fitting polo. It wasn’t the high end fashion Kurt was currently sporting, but it was certainly light years ahead of what anyone else at this school dressed in. Kurt reached out his hand, hoping that he’d finally found somebody that would be willing to help him. 

“Excuse me,” Kurt said, tapping the boy on his shoulder. Kurt’s voice sounded nervous. He wasn’t used to talking a lot, not at school at least. Not when a teacher wasn’t calling on him. 

The boy stopped and turned around, a little startled before looking Kurt up and down appraisingly and smiling brightly.  Kurt was caught off guard by the boys bright hazel eyes that looked so warm and welcoming. He couldn’t help but blush at the way the stranger was watching him so openly, not a hint of malice in his stare. 

“Yes?” the boy said, a hint of playful teasing behind it. For the first time, Kurt wasn’t afraid of the joking, he wasn’t worried about getting shoved into a locker for looking the wrong way or saying the wrong thing. This felt almost friendly. 

“Can I ask you a question, I’m new here?” Kurt asked, this time with more confidence. 

The man tilted his head at him for a second before holding out his hand to Kurt. 

“My name is Blaine,” he said. 

“Kurt.” He took his hand and shook it, careful not to hold on too long. He didn’t want to give the boy the wrong impression. Although, if the way he kept looking to Kurt’s white jeans was any indication, maybe Kurt didn’t have to worry about that. 

“Um…” Kurt cleared his throat trying to regain control of the conversation and stop picturing what it would be like to walk down the hall holding his soft, well-manicured hand. “So what exactly is going on?”

“The first swim meet of the year is today,” Blaine said with a roll of his eyes, like it should be obvious. “We’re having a pep rally. Tends to shut the school down.”

“Wait, so your swim team here is cool?” Kurt asked, surprised. At his old school, the swimmers were at the bottom of the barrel of jocks. Football ran the school in the fall and Basketball ran the school for the rest of the year. McKinley was certainly a strange place. 

“Our football team hasn’t won a championship in fourteen years,” Blaine explained with an easy laugh that Kurt could feel himself falling in love with. He could already picture them strolling through Central Park, Blaine laughing effortlessly as their future daughter learned to ride a bike. Blaine grabbed onto his hand and pulled him down the rest of the stairs to make way for a fresh crowd of people. Kurt’s entire arm tingled at the contact. 

“Our swimmers win state every year and last year, one of our swimmers even won nationals,” Blaine finished with an easy smile. 

Kurt nodded like he understood, but he wasn’t quite sure he did. What kind of school worshiped swimmers and didn’t care about football? If they didn’t care about football, did that mean that all the security Kurt had been dreaming about having thanks to Finn being a quarterback was out the window, too? 

“Come on, New Kid,” Blaine said. “I’ll walk you to the gym.” 

They walked down the hallway, Kurt looking around and taking in the new surroundings. Posters lined the walls in various shades of red, black, and white exclaiming that the Titans Rock! 

When they reached the gym, the crowd of people became much more intense, but Blaine kindly pushed people aside with a polite excuse me. He pulled Kurt along until they were through the doors and he led them behind the bleachers where only a few students were, smoking, setting up A/V equipment or making out. They easily made it to the other side of the gym where Blaine stopped and stood beside the bleachers where the crowd was much less dense. 

It was incredibly loud, much louder that the hallways had been, with the entire school in one room. A stage was in the center where cheerleaders were currently performing an impressively athletic routine. Kurt turned to ask Blaine a question, but stopped when he noticed him talking to an Asian couple. He took a moment to appreciate the ease with which Blaine talked to people. The confidence he had moving around. He seemed so sure of himself, Kurt wished he could be more like that. 

If he was gayand really, he’d just been holding Kurt’s hand—he wondered how Blaine managed to not be more self-conscious. Did the people at this school just not care? Or was Blaine just that unaffected by it all? 

Once Blaine was finished talking to the couple, he turned back to Kurt, still wearing that effortless smile. 

“Kind of crazy, right?” he asked. 

Kurt nodded, it was certainly more than he’d ever seen his old school do. The cheerleaders finished up their routine and a black woman with platinum dyed short hair took to the stage with a microphone and started listing all of the swim team’s accomplishments the last year. 

“So you enjoy watching swimming then?” Kurt had to shout to be heard over the noise. 

Blaine turned to him with a slightly condescending smile, before throwing his head back and laughing. Kurt wanted to be upset, but his brain was too busy short-circuiting at Blaine’s suddenly exposed neck. 

“Oh no,” Blaine leaned in to say into his hear. Kurt told himself that it was only to be heard over the noise. That the way Blaine was leaning in and touching his shoulder wasn’t meant to be a come on. “I don’t watch swimming.”

The woman, who had declared herself to be Coach Roz, begun announcing this year’s swim team and called the boys to the stage after stating their greatest achievements. The cheerleaders did a little cheer for each swimmer and the crowd seemed genuinely excited at the call of each name. Once there were about fifteen boys on the stage, Coach Roz started talking about the star of the team. He held the state record for men’s 200 freestyle, the 100 backstroke, and the 500 freestyle. 

As Coach Roz was listing all of these achievements, Kurt watched Blaine take off his bag. He moved to place it on the ground, before thinking better of it and putting it over Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt’s heart sped up as Blaine smoothed the lines out of his shirt that the strap created. His hand lingered longer than it probably should have. Kurt held his breath as Blaine leaned in to whisper into his ear. 

“Hold that for me, will you?” he asked. Kurt was not really sure what was going on, or why he had to hold Blaine’s bag, but he did so gladly. 

Coach Roz continued listing achievements and the way she made it sound, it was like Michael Phelps went to this school. Kurt wondered who on Earth this kid was. Last year, he went to state for eight different events and took gold in six of them, silver in two. He’s set to break his previous records and shatter a few more. He’s McKinley’s own Blaine Anderson. 

Blaine begins walking out into the middle of the gym as the cheerleaders do a special routine just for him. 

Of course he’s a swimmer. Of course the boy Kurt instantly started crushing on was the most popular boy in school and he had zero shot with him. Absolutely none. Of course, Blaine had asked him to hold his bag rather suggestively. He had looked Kurt up and down before he’d introduced himself, so maybe hope wasn’t lost. 

“Stop right there, Lady Lips,” a bigger girl, wearing a headset while carrying a walkie talkie said to him 

“Excuse me?” Kurt asked, doing a double take. He knew this girls wasn’t talking to him. Her striped sweatshirt only served to make her look bigger and the leggings with skirt look wasn’t even in this season if it ever really was in to begin with. If she was going to start insulting him, he had plenty to say. 

“I know that look,” she said, somewhat sympathetically. If this girl could ever be called sympathetic, she looked like she could crush a semi with her bare hands. “Just stop now before you’re in too deep.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kurt responded with a slight blush, glancing back up at the stage where Blaine and his team were currently leading the school in their school song. 

“You’re crushing on Anderson,” she says with a pitying laugh. “You’ve already planned your wedding and named your twin girls.” 

“I have not,” Kurt said defensively. She was completely wrong, except he knew she wasn’t completely wrong. 

She gave him a knowing look before turning to yell into her walkie, “No, you completely worthless idiots, the yellow cord gets plugged into the yellow hole. Are you color blind or just stupid?” 

“Sorry,” she said turning her attention back to him. “President of the A/V Club. I’m Lauren. But you can call me Zizes.”

“Kurt,” he said, nervously. He wasn’t exactly sure he wanted her knowing his name. She was rather intimidating, but he wasn’t at a point he could really turn down friends. 

“So, is Blaine gay?” He asked. If they were suddenly going to be friends, he might as well get all the information he could. 

She burst into hysterical laughter, shaking her head back and forth manicly. She had to hold onto his shoulder just to keep from falling over. 

“Oh, Cullen,” she said. 

“Kurt,” he hurried to correct her, growing irritated. 

“I know, but you look like Edward Cullen with that pale skin and gravity defying hair, so I’m going to call you Cullen. Take my advice. Don’t bother with that one. It’s a lost cause.”

Kurt felt his heart sink at her words. Of course Blaine wasn’t gay. He was the most popular kid in school. Hadn’t Kurt learned anything by his completely inappropriate crush on Finn last year? He needed to stop trying to find love while he was in high school, it was never going to happen. Until he could get himself to a performing arts school in New York, there was no chance in hell he would ever find somebody to be interested in him. 

Part Two

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